Nice guys don't stalk women or use incel smoke signals, bro.
Exactly. I don't know what thought processes motivated your response, or if it was meant to be criticizing, jesting, or a mix of both, but I overall can discern your objective point, even if I have degrees of nuanced uncertainty thereabout. (i.e. not sure what you mean by "smoke signals", but I am of the impression that your context of the term is parallel to that of the political use of "dog whistles".)
You may already know most or all of this, Ramona, and that is fine; I may be reading too much into your 11-word response, but, as the hyper-analyzer I am, I take this risk with a lot of the communications people parlay to me. I hope this post helps anyone seeking the information, or hoping to articulate what they may already know but can't articulate yet. Feel free to agree or disagree with my following material, or to correct/contrast me, or to dismiss altogether, but I have a few thoughts (not just for
@Ramona the brave's perception, either):
Symmachus Says:
(essay #3,618,415)
My previous comment is facetious, but perhaps had dry prose. I know stalking is a very awful facet of human existence and interaction; this will not be a personal post, but I am thinking about several people in my life who utilized such a school of liberties against me, and
I do not want it to happen to anyone. (albeit, not quite as severe as what today's suspect did on his metaphoric deathbed of debauched misogyny).
I know that there are "nice guys" who use such a facade to coerce and control women, and that is what I was addressing. A Nice Guy™ acts nice and pleasant superficially, but does not meaningfully equip themselves to care about others, particularly other women. I don't have a problem with men who are not archetypically masculine. (I am one myself; I am not an alpha-male and I am 100% okay with that. It's who I am.) I have a problem with any man, macho or timid, brutish or passive, who is a stalker or otherwise predator; or any man who analyze their own troubles in life and incessantly and/or primarily blame all or large swaths of women for such; or any man who fakes a persona to woo a woman, only to unleash an ungodly being upon them once it is too late.
So, "betaworm" was a crude term, and I will likely not be using the word in the future; but it is not meant to attack all non-masculine men, instead criticizing men who are overly emotionally dependent on how women may respond to or perceive them, and may be violent, petulant, or selfishly angry amidst undesired results. Bottom line: they let their insecurity around women get the better of them, and let their insecurity control their actions, instead of vice verse.
Some men are confidently passive, agreeable, emotionally glib, indistinct, and have more brain than brawn; some are pusillanimous, unconfident, depressed, socially maladjusted, weak, and are in non-ideal positions in life; these aspects are simply of human nature, and these groups of traits may overlap in the same people, and are traits not exclusive to beta males, or even males generally. An incel, however, weaponizes aforementioned negative self-dispositions against women, and blames women and female rejection for such problems, perhaps as the root.
And they think they're such tough guys for doing so.
I'm a flawed human being. I can be stubborn and insecure and a perfectionist. I have a skin condition that leaves me with rashes all over my body that never go away, and I'm an open wound with feelings that uncontrollably spill out of me no matter…
www.elitedaily.com
What could be more insecure than a 55-year-old bragging about Latin, or a literal president tweeting his enemies on the bog, asks Guardian columnist Marina Hyde
www.theguardian.com
This author's date felt entitled to women in exchange for supposed kindness – but now she recognizes his words as red flags. Here's what you need to know if someone makes one of these popular claims to you.
everydayfeminism.com
(My use of the ™ symbol is completely independent of theirs.)
PS: Women do not owe these men anything, and women's safety is more important than male confidence. Female rejection can really suck sometimes, but life moves on... at least usually.
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