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Old Man Metal

Veteran Member
Bold Member!
Wichita Falls police received a rather unique call Friday morning involving a woman drinking wine in a Walmart parking lot.

Employees requested officers to ban a woman from the local Walmart store after she reportedly had been drinking wine from a Pringles can for several hours while riding on an electric cart.

The incident began shortly after 9 a.m. Friday when officers responded to a call to check on a suspicious person in the parking lot of Walmart, 2700 Central East Fwy.

Officer Jeff Hughes, a WFPD spokesperson, said police were told by dispatchers that they were looking for a woman wearing a blue jacket and black pants.

The woman was reportedly riding on an electric shopping cart more commonly used for people with physical limitations. Officers were also told she was drinking wine from a Pringle's can.

Hughes said the reporting party said the suspect had been riding around in the store's parking lot since 6:30 a.m. while drinking the alcoholic beverage.

When officers arrived, they found the woman in a nearby restaurant, at which point she was notified that she had been barred from the Walmart location.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news...pringles-can-riding-electric-cart/2564916002/

I'm betting the restaurant was an IHOP.


full
 
No way!

Those riding carts last an hour tops.
When your wine comes in a pringles can you can spring for the snazzy XL batteries!
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OK one, this bitch is my hero.
2- how did they KNOW it was wine in that can? Did Walmart SELL her the wine? In that case they have only themselves to blame.
3- 3.5 hours operating a motorized anything while smashed on wine is an alcoholic of Legendary proportions and we really should give her an award.
 
The woman was reportedly riding on an electric shopping cart more commonly used for people with physical limitations.
Bullshit, unless being a fucking fat fuck is a physical limitation, because that's is all I ever see riding them.

I fucking hate Walmart and its fucking demographic.
 
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Bullshit, unless being a fucking fat fuck is a physical limitation, because that's is all I ever see riding them.

I fucking hate Walmart and its fucking demographic.

It is a limitation. Can you imagine carrying a 200 lb bag of sand around with you all day that is literally crushing your organs while gravity is trying to drag you to hell? :nailbiting:
 
K-Mart never used to provide a floor show with your shopping experience.
This is where Walmart really shines in offering its customers a much more Interactive retail exercise that can stimulate us on so many fronts!

Shootouts,
Apprehensions,
Live births,
Deaths,
Weddings,
Divorces,
Abductions,
Sex assaults,
Hit and runs
Live p*** and nudity,
Race Wars
All the drunken stupidity of Mardi Gras brought to your home community no matter where it is!

These are the Hallmarks to name but a few, that Walmart has brought to us over its illustrious history courtesy of the family of Sam Walton. Cuz you know he'd be proud right?
 
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2- how did they KNOW it was wine in that can? Did Walmart SELL her the wine? In that case they have only themselves to blame.

I'm just guessing here, but I'd venture it's a combination of:

1. It's hard to eat pringles by tipping the whole can into your slightly-open lips; and
2. She didn't exactly smell like Pringles.
 
It is a limitation. Can you imagine carrying a 200 lb bag of sand around with you all day that is literally crushing your organs while gravity is trying to drag you to hell? :nailbiting:
Eating oneself into having to a use a motorized cart is not a disease, its stupidity and we are rewarding those fat fuckers with such accommodations for failing to exercise one fucking iota of restraint.
 
We did something similiar on meth and mushrooms back in the day. I put on a darth vader mask, was singing "Spaceballs" and driving through displays until they finally surrounded me and made me get off the cart, give the mask back and leave!
 
I'm just guessing here, but I'd venture it's a combination of:

1. It's hard to eat pringles by tipping the whole can into your slightly-open lips; and
2. She didn't exactly smell like Pringles.

LOL good point, i mean you never know though, Pringles makes some shitty ass flavors, maybe Cheap Box Wine is a new one?!
 

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