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Featured Texas Man Wearing Kilt Caught Sticking Antique Store Items Up Rectum Before Putting Back on Shelf

Morbid

Morbid

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Mitchell C Vest.jpg

Harris County, TX - Police have arrested 60-year-old Mitchell C Vest after he was caught on camera inside an antique store sticking items up his ass before putting them back on the shelf. These items included a makeup brush, a 'restoration hardware piece', an antique bottle opener and a 'tobacco tent can.'

All of the items identified had to be thrown away "due to feces (being) on them."

According to the Harris County Constable Precinct 4 Office:

On February 15, 2024, deputies with Constable Mark Herman's Office received information from multiple concerned citizens regarding the identification of a male who was observed selecting items from multiple vendors at an Antique Outlet Mall and placing the selected items in his rectum. The male was then observed removing the items and placing them back on the shelves. This incident occurred in the 21100 block of Spring Towne Drive.

During further investigation, Constable Investigators were able to positively identify the male as Mitchell Vest. Due to the loss of multiple antique items that had to be disposed, Constable Deputies obtained a warrant for his arrest for the offense of criminal mischief.

“Deputies with Constable Mark Herman's Special Operations Unit then located and apprehended Mitchell Vest for his Criminal Mischief warrant. His bond is set at $100.00 out of County Court 14.”- Constable Mark Herman
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lawandcrime.com

Kilt-clad man stuck antiques 'in his rectum' at mall, put items back on shelves: Cops

Mitchell C. Vest was filmed taking several items from antique shops in Texas and 'placing' them 'in his rectum,' before returning them to the shelves, police say
lawandcrime.com lawandcrime.com
 
Morbid said:
That's the funny part to me... I know they didn't. Someone out there brought home an antique with a stinky Hershey kiss sitting on it somewhere.
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To the tune of "We built this city on rock and roll":
.

.
"My dick's all shitty from your asshole."

Reimagined Beatles' lyrics by a senescent Beavis & Butthead:
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Punching WAY down, with vile contributions in the YouTube comments:
.

.
& Rage Against The Turn Off The Machine:
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.
Submitted for your (hopefully) guilty pleasure, in this journal of impotent rage and unrelenting despair.

“Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humor in Heaven.” ― Mark Twain
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Last edited:
Ella Mayo said:
To the tune of "We built this city on rock and roll":
.

.
"My dick's all shitty from your asshole."

Reimagined Beatles' lyrics by a senescent Beavis & Butthead:
.


Punching WAY down, with vile contributions in the YouTube comments:
.

.
& Rage Against The Turn Off The Machine:
.

.
Submitted for your (hopefully) guilty pleasure, in this journal of impotent rage and unrelenting despair.

“Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humor in Heaven.” ― Mark Twain
.
Click to expand...


man you just brought me back... They were in my area while I was in highschool - listened to them all the time - until they got fired... for an april fools day prank



and I HATE Sully Erna... such a tool... like the music but can't stand him - he lives in my town and eats at one of the places I go to all the time...
 
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