The top ten most-read stories on the Front Page that were posted between last Sunday and today are:
#1: Florida Toddler, Age 2, Hit And Killed By Mother’s SUV 4 Years After A 2-Year-Old Sister Died In Similar Accident
by @Sugar Cookie
dreamindemon.com
#2: FBI: Frisco Realtor Was Bank Robber Dubbed "Mr. Potato Head"
by @Satanica
dreamindemon.com
#3: Buffalo Wild Wings Workers Fired After They Asked 18 Black Diners To Move After Complaint From Customer Who "Did Not Want To Sit Near Black People"
by @Turd Fergusen
dreamindemon.com
#4: Munnsville Man Facing Rape And Sex Abuse Charges
by @Satanica
dreamindemon.com
#5: Woman with Penicillin Allergy Goes Into Anaphylactic Shock After Unprotected Sex With Husband Who Was Prescribed Anitbotic For Heart Infection
by @Turd Fergusen
dreamindemon.com
#6: 3 Year-Old Was Found Lifeless, Lying Face Down Beside "A Pool Of His Own Vomit On A Bed”
by @Sugar Cookie
dreamindemon.com
#7: Pennsylvania Woman Arrested For Alleged Assault, Endangerment Of Grandson
by @Sugar Cookie
dreamindemon.com
#8: Hanford Police Search For Chelsea Becker, Charged With Murder After Unborn Baby Dies Of Drugs In His System
by @Sugar Cookie
dreamindemon.com
#9: Canadian Dad Charged With Double Murder As Sons Are Found Dead In Their Home
by @Sugar Cookie
dreamindemon.com
#10: KFC Receipt Solves A Murder
by @Turd Fergusen
dreamindemon.com
****TIE****
#10: "She Didn’t Deserve To Be Left Alone"
by @Sugar Cookie
dreamindemon.com
Okay, what the hell is going on?
Yeah, yeah, we've got the usual slew of child-neglect stories in the Top Ten— fetuses overdosing, kids getting asswhoopins for fucking up Grammaw's precious bathroom, mommies running over a second toddler 'cause one pedopancake wasn't enough— and a double murder (by Daddy Dearest), and of course the obligatory statutory rape case (apparently "14-years-old" + "special needs" = "insert dick here" to some people), but something is off.
Way off.
@ghosttruck missed for the second week in a row. That's never happened since I first noticed the Patterns and started keeping track.
Never.
And worse yet, the Expansion is... expanding. Expanding itself.
The Top Ten has always been ten. Ten. It's in the goddamn name! Ten.
Then one time it was Eleven.
Expansion.
Then last week, it was Eleven again. Because of @Sugar Cookie and @Turd Fergusen, relentlessly competing for territory.
War for Territory.
And this week, it's Eleven again. Because of them. Again. The Expansion is expanding.
That's metafuckery. It should not even be possible.
And I'm worried that it's not gonna stop.
It has momentum now.
And the stories... some of them are just odd.
Anaphylactic shock reactions from residual antibiotics in semen? In what rational universe does that happen?
Three wingmongers fired for asking 18 customers to move because of one bigot? The numerology is completely irrational.
It can't happen, but it did.
A KFC receipt solving a murder? Of a Russian chick caught in the middle of a love triangle?
A Chick-fil-A receipt, maybe.
A Popeye's receipt? Hell, they're at every murder scene nowadays. That don't mean shit.
But a KFC receipt?
That's the most useless piece of paper on the planet. It couldn't even solve the case of "who bought this bag of shitty chicken?"
Yet here we are.
Rips in the fabric of the space-time continuum.
Cosmic probability storms.
Random ritualistic numerological slaughters.
Ripped whores.
It's not my fucking fault. Stop looking at me like that!
I just want it all to end
#1: Florida Toddler, Age 2, Hit And Killed By Mother’s SUV 4 Years After A 2-Year-Old Sister Died In Similar Accident
by @Sugar Cookie
Florida Toddler, Age 2, Hit And Killed By Mother’s SUV 4 Years After A 2-Year-Old Sister Died In Similar Accident - The Demon's Den
A 2-year-old Florida boy was hit and killed by an SUV driven by his mother on Tuesday, four years after the same mother lost her 2-year-old daughter in a similar accident. In an incident authorities have called “horrific” and “tragic,” deputies with the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office were...
#2: FBI: Frisco Realtor Was Bank Robber Dubbed "Mr. Potato Head"
by @Satanica
FBI: Frisco Realtor Was Bank Robber Dubbed 'Mr. Potato Head' - The Demon's Den
I thought this would be an update, but I can't find an original thread. [....] John Thomas Rutledge, 55, was given the moniker because he used a fake nose and other disguises, said FBI spokeswoman Melissa Urbina. He is suspected in five to 10 bank robberies in Dallas and Addison, she said...
#3: Buffalo Wild Wings Workers Fired After They Asked 18 Black Diners To Move After Complaint From Customer Who "Did Not Want To Sit Near Black People"
by @Turd Fergusen
Buffalo Wild Wings Workers Fired After They Asked 18 Black Diners To Move After Complaint From Customer Who "Did Not Want To Sit Near Black People" - The Demon's Den
An unspecified number of employees have been fired from a suburban Illinois Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant after they allegedly asked a mixed-race group of people celebrating a child’s birthday to move because a regular customer did not want to sit near black people. The group of 18 would-be...
#4: Munnsville Man Facing Rape And Sex Abuse Charges
by @Satanica
Munnsville Man Facing Rape And Sex Abuse Charges - The Demon's Den
[....] 44-year old Glynn Collins is charged with two counts of rape, two counts of criminal sexual act, sex abuse and endangering the welfare of a child. Police were notified by medical staff at Community Memorial Hospital in Hamilton that the girl was brought to their facility for a sore...
#5: Woman with Penicillin Allergy Goes Into Anaphylactic Shock After Unprotected Sex With Husband Who Was Prescribed Anitbotic For Heart Infection
by @Turd Fergusen
Woman with Penicillin Allergy Goes Into Anaphylactic Shock After Unprotected Sex With Husband Who Was Prescribed Anitbotic For Heart Infection - The Demon's Den
After one woman’s sexual scare, your partner may want to sign a disclaimer next time you think about getting frisky. A 46-year-old woman from Baltimore, Maryland, suffered an apparent allergic reaction post-coitus with her husband. Turns out he had recently been prescribed an antibiotic for a...
#6: 3 Year-Old Was Found Lifeless, Lying Face Down Beside "A Pool Of His Own Vomit On A Bed”
by @Sugar Cookie
3 Year-Old Was Found Lifeless, Lying Face Down Beside "A Pool Of His Own Vomit On A Bed” - The Demon's Den
A Kona grand jury indicted a foster care mother last week for the alleged 2017 murder of a 3-year-old Waimea boy. Chasity Alcosiba-McKenzie was indicted on one count of second-degree murder in the July 25, 2017, death of Fabian Garett-Garcia. The indictment states Alcosiba-McKenzie...
#7: Pennsylvania Woman Arrested For Alleged Assault, Endangerment Of Grandson
by @Sugar Cookie
Pennsylvania woman arrested for alleged assault, endangerment of grandson - The Demon's Den
A grandmother in Lackawanna County is charged with assaulting and endangering her grandson. According to police paperwork, Jeanne Lisi, 56, of Carbondale, is accused of beating her 9-year-old grandson after he allegedly made a mess in the bathroom. It also says Lisi held the child against the...
#8: Hanford Police Search For Chelsea Becker, Charged With Murder After Unborn Baby Dies Of Drugs In His System
by @Sugar Cookie
Hanford Police Search For Chelsea Becker, Charged With Murder After Unborn Baby Dies Of Drugs In His System - The Demon's Den
Hanford Police are looking for a woman after she gave birth to a stillborn baby who had toxic levels of methamphetamine in his system. Chelsea Becker has been charged with fetal murder and Kings County has an arrest warrant out for her. The baby's death in September has been ruled a homicide...
#9: Canadian Dad Charged With Double Murder As Sons Are Found Dead In Their Home
by @Sugar Cookie
Canadian Dad Charged With Double Murder As Sons Are Found Dead In Their Home - The Demon's Den
A Brampton man has been charged with two counts of first-degree murder in the deaths of his sons. Peel Regional Police arrested Edwin Bastidas, 52, after his two sons, Nicolas, 9, and Jonathan, 12, were found dead in their home on Hiberton Crescent, in the Creditview and Sandalwood area. The...
#10: KFC Receipt Solves A Murder
by @Turd Fergusen
KFC Receit Solves a Murder! - The Demon's Den
An Oregon man is on trial in the murder of his Russian bride-to-be after investigators found a KFC receipt allegedly linking him to her execution-style death, according to reports. William Chase Hargrove, 29, appeared Friday in Benton County court, where he’s charged in the killing of Anna...
****TIE****
#10: "She Didn’t Deserve To Be Left Alone"
by @Sugar Cookie
'She didn’t deserve to be left alone': Arrest made in 1996 'Baby Faith' murder case - The Demon's Den
Twenty-three years after a disturbing discovery shook a community and brought it together, the person police say is responsible has finally been arrested. The Larimer County Sheriff’s Office arrested a 42-year-old Erie woman in connection with the 1996 “Baby Faith” case in Larimer County, the...
Okay, what the hell is going on?
Yeah, yeah, we've got the usual slew of child-neglect stories in the Top Ten— fetuses overdosing, kids getting asswhoopins for fucking up Grammaw's precious bathroom, mommies running over a second toddler 'cause one pedopancake wasn't enough— and a double murder (by Daddy Dearest), and of course the obligatory statutory rape case (apparently "14-years-old" + "special needs" = "insert dick here" to some people), but something is off.
Way off.
@ghosttruck missed for the second week in a row. That's never happened since I first noticed the Patterns and started keeping track.
Never.
And worse yet, the Expansion is... expanding. Expanding itself.
The Top Ten has always been ten. Ten. It's in the goddamn name! Ten.
Then one time it was Eleven.
Expansion.
Then last week, it was Eleven again. Because of @Sugar Cookie and @Turd Fergusen, relentlessly competing for territory.
War for Territory.
And this week, it's Eleven again. Because of them. Again. The Expansion is expanding.
That's metafuckery. It should not even be possible.
And I'm worried that it's not gonna stop.
It has momentum now.
And the stories... some of them are just odd.
Anaphylactic shock reactions from residual antibiotics in semen? In what rational universe does that happen?
Three wingmongers fired for asking 18 customers to move because of one bigot? The numerology is completely irrational.
It can't happen, but it did.
A KFC receipt solving a murder? Of a Russian chick caught in the middle of a love triangle?
A Chick-fil-A receipt, maybe.
A Popeye's receipt? Hell, they're at every murder scene nowadays. That don't mean shit.
But a KFC receipt?
That's the most useless piece of paper on the planet. It couldn't even solve the case of "who bought this bag of shitty chicken?"
Yet here we are.
Rips in the fabric of the space-time continuum.
Cosmic probability storms.
Random ritualistic numerological slaughters.
Ripped whores.
It's not my fucking fault. Stop looking at me like that!
I just want it all to end
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