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"The Impaler", Rocky Flash, is exempt from traditional laws

Dakota

Dakota

FORUM BITCH / Beloved Cunt
Bold Member!
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Prosecutors say it's a case they've never seen before, involving a self-proclaimed vampire who made threats of violence.

A 45-year-old Indianapolis man will spend more than two years in jail for threatening to torture and kill a judge. He told prosecutors he's exempt from traditional laws. Instead, he follows vampire law.
[...]

"Mr. Flash believes that he is the leader of the Vampyre Nation and there are a group of individuals that believe they're vampires here in the United States and he is their leader," said Massillamany.

45-year-old Rocky Flash, also known as Jonathon Sharkey, pleaded guilty to making death threats to Marion County Judge David Certo.

"Saying he was going to dismember him, impale him," said Massillamany.

According to court papers, Flash threatened to decapitate the judge and kill his wife and children.

Police discovered the messages at the Speedway Public Library. Prosecutors say an employee noticed Flash writing threats on a computer and called police.

Rocky Flash is all over the internet claiming to be a vampire leader with his own set of rules. He calls himself "The Impaler".

Flash told prosecutors the judge violated vampire law and threatened him as retribution for another case.

"By charging him, he believes that he as the leader of Vampyre Nation should not be held to the laws of the United States and that by holding to these laws, that Judge Certo is violating vampire law," said Massillamany.

Flash now faces more than two years in jail. He told prosecutors he plans to run for political office under the pagan party when he gets out.
[...]
Click to expand...
http://www.wthr.com/Global/story.asp?S=11688029

Before they can even lock him up:
Prosecutors called Rocky Flash back in to court on Monday. They say he violated his probation by doing a TV interview.
[...]
No word yet on what new charges he may be facing.
Click to expand...
http://www.fox59.com/news/crime/wxin-vampire-violates-probation-122209,0,3185062.story

Assclown also ran for Minnesota Governor in 2006, U.S. President, a U.S. House seat from New Jersey and Florida, and a U.S. Senate seat in Indiana. I guess he finally found his political fulfillment with the Vampyre Nation.

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Weirdo MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/impalerthemovie
 
45-year-old Rocky Flash, also known as Jonathon Sharkey, pleaded guilty to making death threats to Marion County Judge David Certo
Click to expand...
rocky flash is a shitty vampire name.
 
The judge violated vampire law? Is the judge a vampire too?

Sorry, but this is really funny... maybe a little sad but really funny.

From his myspace page Mood: happy "Jonathon THE IMPALER Sharkey King of the Vampyres At the Indanapolis Airport ready to fly to Tampa Oh yeah. I WAS NOT SENTENCED TO JAIL OR PRISON NOR PROBATION! The media is once again lying about me!"

Questions:

Um...why does the "king" of vampires need a plane to fly?

If/when he gets locked up will he be reduced to sucking blood out of mice and eating roaches or will that violate Rockey Dumbass's rights?

If we keep posting about this dumb ass, will he respond or just hop on a plane come over and drain our blood? If he responds we can all laugh at and make fun of him. Being the sick bitch I am, I would really enjoy this.
 
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In related FAKE news:

Police were forced to declare martial law in Marion County as the streets were flooded with a riotous crowd of screaming, swooning preteen girls.

The crowd had begun to form in response to the trial of Jonathon Sharkey, a self-proclaimed vampire.

The mood of the crowd was respectful and orderly until information was spread through the group that the courtroom next to Sharkey's was hearing the tax-evasion trial of a self-proclaimed werewolf.

Casualties are expected to number in the hundreds.
 
This story made me giggle...what a tard. I personally hope this weirdo is kept under lock and key b/c I don't want to see what he'd do to "prove" himself to his followers.
 
Umm, isn't this assclown a little old for dress-up. I mean, this is beyond Dungeons and Dragons. He either needs to lay off the drugs or perhaps start taking some prescribed ones. Can anyone say psych eval?
 
Oh, wait...I talked ill of the vampire king! Now he's going to come and impale me and drink my blood! Shit! Oh, wait, that's right, he can't come in unless I invite him. Whew! Hmm, I wonder if he sparkles. He obviously doesn't burst into flames in the daylight, otherwise he wouldn't have made it to court!
 
OMG, it appears that he once was a professional wrestler!

Found the following in an attorney chat group...

Sounds like Mr flash might owe a former attorney some money!:biggrin2:

Post: Dr. Rocky "Hurricane" Flash

Posted by Hardy *********, Atty. on 8/20/05

Apparently someone has spotted former presidential
candidate Dr. Rocky "Hurricane" Flash recently. This gives
credence to my belief that he is not deceased, but has
simply dropped out of sight for some reason known only to
him and/or his family and/or close associate or
associates. Did you say you have seen him? If so, where
and when?

Sincerely,

Hardy *********, Atty.
Lake Charles, LA
 
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Oh my fucking gawd! All those teen girl jokes have come to life!!! he pops the question to a teen via YouTube:
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySpu6wB4FLw"]YouTube- Dearest Paige,[/ame]
Friends and family of a former Red Wing teen became fearful after she allegedly ran off with Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, the self-proclaimed vampire who in 2006 ran for Minnesota governor.

"He's completely brainwashed her," said Jillian Moen, mother of 16-year-old Paige Brewer.

Moen said her daughter slipped away with Sharkey, 45, sometime Sunday morning while staying at Moen's mother's house in Faribault, Minn. Since then, people claiming to be Sharkey and Brewer have been posting updates on a Twin Cities media blog.

Faribault police Chief Dan Collins said he has "no reason to doubt" that Sharkey and Brewer are who they claim to be on the City Pages blog.

In the blog posts, Sharkey indicates his intention to marry Brewer. In her posts Brewer discusses wedding plans, as well as plans to emancipate from her mother's legal grasp.
[...]

Moen said she has been in e-mail contact with Brewer and that she does not fear for her daughter's safety, but said a blog comment by the person purporting to be Sharkey made her fearful for her own life.

"I was nervous enough to call the FBI," she said.
Click to expand...
http://www.republican-eagle.com/event/article/id/64702/

Paige Brewer has been listed as an endangered runaway through the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, and the Faribault police are trying to contact her via the comments section in City Pages online.

City Pages articles:
Jonathon Sharkey sets off comment war over 16-year-old girlfriend
Jonathon Sharkey's teen girlfriend urged to contact Faribault police chief
Jonathon Sharkey brainwashed teen girlfriend Paige Brewer, her mother says

Video aimed at her mom:
This video was done by Jonathon The Impaler Sharkey and his fiancee Paige, sending a message to Paige's abusive, drug using and trashy mother Jillian Moen
Click to expand...
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihenS2VMaz4"]YouTube- TO: PAIGE'S ABUSER! HELL IS FOR CHILDREN!!![/ame]
 
Like you need any help in being a weirdo. I bet sweet young things follow you around on a daily basis. Ahh... to be 16 and stupid again...
 
The former Red Wing teen who ran off with a self-professed 45-year-old vampire turned herself into police Thursday morning.

Faribault, Minn., police Chief Dan Collins said 16-year-old Paige Brewer met with police following negotiations with an investigator. Collins said Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, the former Minnesota gubernatorial candidate who courted Brewer over the Internet, accompanied her.

Brewer was being detained in child protective services, "until we can determine what's going on," Collins said.

Her mother, Jillian Moen, alerted authorities to the case of the missing teen earlier this week. Moen's mother was watching Brewer over the weekend at her Faribault residence when the youth slipped away sometime Sunday.

What transpired after included an unusual series of announcements over the Internet, where the romance purportedly was hatched. On Tuesday, Brewer was listed as an "endangered runaway" by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.

Collins said Sharkey, who dubs himself "king of the vampyre nation," does not face charges.

"We have no information that any crime has been committed," Collins said.

He said Sharkey was last seen waiting to catch a bus out of Faribault.

A message left for Moen was not immediately returned, but she posted news of Brewer’s return on her Facebook page.

“Now that she is safe and sound we need to make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen to any other families,â€￾ Moen wrote.

Sharkey listed his mood Thursday afternoon on a Myspace page as "betrayed."

"I am and shall always be DEVOTED IN LOVE TO PAIGE,â€￾ his MySpace post declares.

Brewer and Moen lived in the Red Wing area for about seven years beginning in 2001, Moen told the R-E earlier this week.
Click to expand...

http://www.republican-eagle.com/event/article/id/64781/

paige-brewer.jpg

Paige Brewer
 
EEeeeekkk gad did anyone notice the kiddie toys behind him?? Where the hell is he doing this or even existing where kiddie toys are at? A daycare?? WTH???

Edit added: I think or hope anyway he is still incarcerated but why is he allowed access to where kids might possibly be? Gah, not like he's not shown himself to be a perv what with him being 45 and she 16? Certainly in this world of idiots he had a follower closer to his own age available? Ughhhhh.

OMG I edit againn teach me to not finish reading first:
He said Sharkey was last seen waiting to catch a bus out of Faribault.
Click to expand...
A bus. None of his followers old enough to have a license? Cripes what a fucking wierdo. But that also means he's loose again right?
 
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I actually watched the whole crackpot second video...It just gets more and more fucked the longer you watch.

Damn Paige, you are going to be SO embarrassed about this in a year or two.
 
LMAO

I'm willing to believe anyone who says they are indeed a vampire, if they are willing to prove they can only die by beheading, or impalement, I'm sure someone can loan them a gun...
 
Not satisfied with living in Florida, Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey wants to move to Washington, D.C. to become the nation's first vampire president. Sharkey, 45, spent Friday on a Greyhound bus with his new fiancee, Audrianna Foster, a 19-year-old girl from Ohio he got to know online. She too believes she is a vampire, or vampyre.
"I haven't dated a girl older than 19 since 2006," said the Tampa man as his 19-year-old daughter and his 2-year-old grandson met him at the Greyhound station. "It's good to be me."
"The Impaler" claims he's a direct descendent of Vlad II the Impaler, better known as Dracula.
He has scheduled a Monday press conference in Tampa to announce his plans to file paperwork to run for President of the United States in 2012. He recently switched his party affiliation from Independent to Republican so he can run with the G.O.P.
Click to expand...
http://www.wtsp.com/news/mostpop/story.aspx?storyid=127365&provider=top
PICTURES: Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey - Florida vampire running for president
 
How does this fuckstick keep digging up chicks? All I can do is hope that he is sterile.
 
Oh my gosh, I was laughing so hard going thru the myspaces and this that I almost pee'd my pants roftlmao.

If he is the King whoo haaa cranberry drinking Vampire, then damn it, I am the queen of England and I say " OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!!!"

lmao ha ha ha
 
okay kids, found a blog thing of his: http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2010/02/jonathon_sharke.php

from him:

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey says:

Greetings,

Instead of being happy for Paige and me, you people are bashing us. Instead of getting married in Minnesota, we are starting to think we should just elope to Las Vegas.

Unlike some of the teenies I have been involved with, at least Paige has a good heart. And she has no problem putting The Impaler in his place.

Remember, you want to have someone with a goodheart and a spine having influence on me, especially given my alignments.

It's Valentines weekend. Embrace love and joy. Don't spread hatre and negativity.

Do Svidaniya,
Nel Sangue,

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey
The Impaler For MN Governor
www.theimpalerformngovernor.us
www.thetrueimpalermovie.com
Posted On: Friday, Feb. 12 2010 @ 3:51PM
Click to expand...

Wow, this guy is a total nutjob. How many teens has he been er, involved with? :puke:
Also, apparently buddy is making a movie too. He was kind enough to give us a link!

The True Impaler: A Republican Vampyre Seeks to Unseat Obama

This guy keep bringing the laughs. I do wish the chubby teens would leave him be though. I know it can be hard to be a big gal and find half-ass normal guys. Seriously, ladies, you can do WAY better than this asshat.
 
Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey is a 50-year old man who claims to be a satanic vampire.

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He has a criminal history of threatening a judge, the president, and stalking an ex-girlfriend. However, his worst crimes deal with messing around with teenage girls. I have a link that shows all his past crimes. Things like harassing a 16-year old Minnestoa girl because she wouldn't date him. He also helped another 16-year old run away from her parents. They were held up at a motel for over a week. He claimed she was his bride-to-be. He currently is in trouble for going two hours out of his way to meet a 15-year old girl down in Florida at a park nearby her location. He has publicly admitted to being intimate with her and claimed she was also his bride. He also expressed wanting to get her pregnant as soon as she's 16. Once the parents found out, he threatened them and the investigator on the case. A court hearing is set for June 4th for a protection order for the girl and her family. He also has another warrant outside his residential county, but the sheriff wouldn't say what for.

Please check out this site and help spread awareness against this creep. Another arrest is possibly looming but the investigators are wanting to build a stronger case.

www.impalerexposed.info
 
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