UK archaeologists were flabbergasted after discovering that a 2,000-year-old “sewing tool” could potentially be the only known life-size Roman dildo. They detailed the alleged phallic first in the journal
Antiquity.
“I have to confess, part of me thinks it’s kind of self-evident that it is a penis,” said Dr. Rob Collins, an archaeologist at Newcastle University who co-authored the paper,
the Guardian reported. “We know ancient Romans and Greeks used sexual implements. This object from Vindolanda could be an example of one.”
The Caligula-esque sex-cessory was first discovered in 1992 during an excavation at the Roman fort of Vindolanda in Northumberland,
the Times of London reported. Archaeologists initially classified the six-inch-long cylindrical object as an implement for darning — the practice of repairing holes in woven fabric using a needle and thread — which modern scientists suspect was because they had discovered it alongside shoes and other garments.
However, upon further examination 30 years on, researchers believed they might’ve been wide of the mark.
Small phallic facsimiles were ubiquitous in ancient Rome, often in mosaics frescoes, and even pendants worn around the neck as tantric totems. However, researchers believe that this doppel-wanger might’ve been used for self-pleasuring purposes due to its material and the fact that it’s life-size and disembodied — attributes that make it the first of its kind recovered from ancient Rome.
“The size of the phallus and the fact it was carved from wood raises a number of questions,” Collins declared. “The case for its sexual use is clear to most observers at first sight.”
He added, “I don’t know who entered it into the catalogue. Maybe it was somebody uncomfortable with it or didn’t think the Romans would do such silly things.”
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