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Muriel Schwenck

Beloved Curmudgeon
The woman's name is Felon, pronounced "Fell On". She leaves behind 3 children and one grandchild.


A 37-year-old woman was struck and killed by a train Thursday after she jumped down onto the tracks to retrieve the cellphone she'd dropped, police told media outlets. The woman, later identified as Felon Smith, was at the 69th and State Street station when she dropped her cell phone onto the tracks and attempted to retrieve it, NBC Chicago reported.
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"It slipped and fell out of her hand, and she tried to retrieve it. She went on the tracks to get her phone, but she couldn't get back up from off the tracks, and the 'L' was coming," McAllister said. "The 'L' came, and it hit her. She couldn't get back up. She should just have left the phone down there. It ain't worth her losing her life."
 
Ghetto name.
Her phone was smarter than she was.
Nice way to bugger everyone's commute too.

Wonder what the three kids are named...
Felonious
Missydemeanor
Ellwop
Actually her children's names are only a tad cringey.. A daughter named Chloe and a son named Sincere.
Blame Felon's mother for her name. Although "Felony" sounds more feminine.
Ironically, Felon had just gotten certification to be an insurance agent. Not a business card to inspire confidence.
 
It's going to be double funeral.
A 22-year-old woman was killed in a shooting Friday in Fuller Park on the South Side.

Akeelah D. Addison was on the street about 2:55 a.m. in the 4200 block of South Wells Street when a male took out a handgun and fired shots, Chicago police and the Cook County medical examiner’s office said.

Addison was struck in the head and was pronounced dead on the scene, authorities said. An autopsy conducted Sunday ruled her death a homicide, according to the medical examiner’s office.

According to social media posts, Addison was the niece of Felon Smith, the woman fatally struck by Red Line train as she retrieved a dropped cellphone.
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If anyone is interested, bestgore has the video of Felon catching the train. If you don't want to watch it, just know this - she tried to avoid the train by running toward the far end of the platform. Toward the train coming at her....
 
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