Sports Symmachus, Vol. 2, No. 3
Trigger Warning for Trendies: The following article contains crude humor that is deemed unfit for all human life. Reader's discretion is advised.
www.sbnation.com
EAT IT DWIGHT HOWARD! EAT!!!! IT!!!!
I'm going to keep this article short and sweet instead of long and throbbing, but I'm glad that it is not one player or the other who is the butt of this joke. I am also glad that all the social progress we have made, every inch of it, has led to this truly beautiful occurrence. Now, all those hateful racists can shove their prejudices in the rear--view mirror.
Gradey Dick and Anthony Black, now two of the most esteemed civil rights icons of the millennium, have officially solved racism forever. However, overall world peace has not yet been achieved. One more thing needs to happen to bring on world peace. Trump can't do it. Biden can't do it. Harry and Meghan definitely freaking can't. But Günther can.
Yes we can!
And Günther just needs to do one simple thing: release that album Dirty Man Swedish Sexy Beast he was talking about years ago. "Dirty Man Swedish Sexy Beast" is a combination of words that will blow the minds of every person who has ever walked the earth. Ever since he announced the album 12-17 years ago or whenever it was, he has only released a single here and there, but no sign of the actual album has emerged since. If Günther does not release Dirty Man Swedish Sexy Beast and fill it full of derivative, formulaic, artificial, trashy, immaculate Europop songs whose greatness is paralleled only by the likes of Leonardo da Vinci and Benjamin Franklin; then there is simply no hope left for world peace. Instead, I will have to bring it upon myself to release an album titled Dirty Man Montanan Sexy Beast. It would likely be a harsh noise/post-punk/blackwave album that only seven or so people would listen to and develop hearing problems afterward, and my album would fail to come close to even the implication of a better world for all.
The fate of the world is in this man's hands. His tra-la-la is in yours.
A very important step toward an equitable and just world has happened this week, thanks to two NBA rookies. But a lot of work still needs to be done, and only Günther, the greatest superhero to ever come from Sweden, can do it. Please pray that he finishes this album off and hasn't pulled out of it for good.
Trigger Warning for Trendies: The following article contains crude humor that is deemed unfit for all human life. Reader's discretion is advised.
Anthony Black and Gradey Dick gave NBA fans the jersey swap meme they were craving
Who doesn’t need this in their life?
www.sbnation.com
EAT IT DWIGHT HOWARD! EAT!!!! IT!!!!
I'm going to keep this article short and sweet instead of long and throbbing, but I'm glad that it is not one player or the other who is the butt of this joke. I am also glad that all the social progress we have made, every inch of it, has led to this truly beautiful occurrence. Now, all those hateful racists can shove their prejudices in the rear--view mirror.
Gradey Dick and Anthony Black, now two of the most esteemed civil rights icons of the millennium, have officially solved racism forever. However, overall world peace has not yet been achieved. One more thing needs to happen to bring on world peace. Trump can't do it. Biden can't do it. Harry and Meghan definitely freaking can't. But Günther can.
Yes we can!
And Günther just needs to do one simple thing: release that album Dirty Man Swedish Sexy Beast he was talking about years ago. "Dirty Man Swedish Sexy Beast" is a combination of words that will blow the minds of every person who has ever walked the earth. Ever since he announced the album 12-17 years ago or whenever it was, he has only released a single here and there, but no sign of the actual album has emerged since. If Günther does not release Dirty Man Swedish Sexy Beast and fill it full of derivative, formulaic, artificial, trashy, immaculate Europop songs whose greatness is paralleled only by the likes of Leonardo da Vinci and Benjamin Franklin; then there is simply no hope left for world peace. Instead, I will have to bring it upon myself to release an album titled Dirty Man Montanan Sexy Beast. It would likely be a harsh noise/post-punk/blackwave album that only seven or so people would listen to and develop hearing problems afterward, and my album would fail to come close to even the implication of a better world for all.
The fate of the world is in this man's hands. His tra-la-la is in yours.
A very important step toward an equitable and just world has happened this week, thanks to two NBA rookies. But a lot of work still needs to be done, and only Günther, the greatest superhero to ever come from Sweden, can do it. Please pray that he finishes this album off and hasn't pulled out of it for good.
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