Blunderbuss Firozabad
Made of Pumpkin pie
This is Isaac Josiah Straus, from ages 29 to 34.
Granite jaw, well-groomed, eyes glistening with insanity.
Isaac packed up from parts unknown and delivered himself to the city of dreams, Phoenix, Arizona in 2017.
Why? One of the oldest reasons in the world: He was in love.
The object of his affections? One Ms. Alexia Clark:
Instagram fitness person with millions of followers.
It's fair to say he was besotted.
He regularly visited her at work, brought her gifts of flowers, candy, balloons, and handwritten love letters sealed with kisses.
Oh, he didn't forget that sure-fire gift that all adult women secretly crave, the one that let's them know they are appreciated for their uniqueness-- a stuffed teddy bear.
This gallant man is so courtly, with such old-world manners, he asked her father for her hand in marriage no less than four times, PLUS, he thoughtfully dropped off flowers and candy (no bear) for her mother on Mother's Day!!
There are always bumps along these romantic roads though, aren't there? Like the man is a ghost or stuck in the past or a Chucky doll, and this story is no different.
Alexia Clark didn't know him. Didn't want to know him. Wouldn't even give him a chance!!
He tried to enlist the help of her dog, who had an Instagram account.
The dog, just as stubborn as Alexia, ignored his messages.
But they complained to police, oh boy, did they complain!
"After his arrest, records state that Straus told police he knew he was violating the court order but thought if he could reach the woman "she would better get to know him and understand him and possibly have a change of heart."
He knew she just needed it explained to her!
His pursuits were interrupted by some jail time, but when he got out, he was thrilled to discover no other stalker had gotten to her first and resumed his campaign of persuasion.
Then prison interruped.
Fast forward to September 2023.
Since Alexia ruined his life
, he is now known as "Isaac Straus, homeless man"The new, unimproved, Isaac Straus, homeless man, still didn't understand that just because he wanted something, didn't mean he could have it.
On a fair September day, Homeless man, Isaac Straus, found himself in tony Scottsdale, Arizona in front of this establishment...
...The Estate Watch and Jewelry Company, and being a man of purpose and no means, walked thru the front door and asked to see their finest $300,000 watch.
It was promptly plopped on the countertop for monsieur's inspection.
Then this happened:
Look how that lightening quick that salesman and his Finger of Denouncement are! Magic.
The Estate Watch and Jewelry Company has rigid policies around there, which include, but is not limited to:
"We do not allow anyone to take a watch from the store without permission who intends to keep it without paying for it."
That is a good policy, but it has to be enforced to really count.
The security guards, finally hearing the salesman's pointing, jabbing finger, ran after Isaac Strauss and caught up to the slow-witted policy-breaker.
When Alexia Clark's dog remembered who Isaac Strauss was, he was asked what kind of punishment Strauss should receive:
He said "Ruff!".
Then he said "What are we talking about? I thought there was a dog treat being offered".
Here's the video:
PD: Man stalking local fitness model arrested
A Chandler man was arrested for stalking and harassing a local fitness model and her family.
www.abc15.com
Homeless man accused of stealing watch worth nearly $300K from Scottsdale store
Police say a homeless man was arrested for stealing a watch worth hundreds of thousands of dollars from a high-end store in Old Town Scottsdale.
