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A Florida man was reportedly arrested for trying to get an alligator drunk after his pal captured the reptile.

Timothy Kepke, 27, of Hobe Sound allegedly fed some beer to the animal, which also bit him, on Aug. 26 in Palm City, according to a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission report obtained by TC Palm.

Moments earlier, Kepke told police, Noah Osborne, 22, caught the gator with his bare hands, the report said.

Kepke told authorities he had consumed a few beers that day, but claimed he wasn’t intoxicated during the incident.

After the beer feeding, which was recorded, the duo released the animal back into the wild, Kepke told officers.
Full Story:
https://nypost.com/2019/10/07/florida-man-arrested-for-trying-to-get-alligator-drunk/
 
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ghosttruck

Level 57 Taco Wizard
Staff member
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A South Florida man is accused of pouring beer into an alligator's mouth after enticing the reptile to bite his arm after his friend caught it, authorities said.

Timothy Jean Kepke, 27, of Hobe Sound, was charged with unlawfully taking an alligator, according to the Martin County Sheriff's Office. Another man, Noah Osborne, 22, of Stuart, was charged with the same crime.

Officials from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission said they received a complaint in August about the two men, TCPalm reported. A video filmed at 10:30 p.m. Aug. 26 in Palm City showed Kepke holding the alligator and tempting it to bite his right forearm, the website reported. After being bitten, Kepke allegedly poured beer into the alligator's mouth, causing the reptile to act aggressively, according to an FWC report.

The pair then released the alligator, officials said.
 

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Blunderbuss Firozabad

Active Member
Bold Member!
This is going straight into my bag of verbal treats.
Instead of describing a difficult/impossible task as :

"Like trying to herd cats"
It will be:
"Like trying to get an alligator drunk"

Thank you stupid Florida men of the article, you have served one noble purpose in your life.
 

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EyEgOrE

Diabhol Dearg
Bold Member!
I don't know why, but this reminded me of the old 'bar challenge joke:'

Guy goes to a new bar and sees a sign: "Complete the Challenge, free drinks for life"
So the guy asks the bartender what its all about.
Bartender says, "Well, first you have to drink this WHOLE bottle of whiskey in one go. Then behind that door over there is an alligator with a bad tooth, you gotta pull the tooth. Then behind that door over there is a beautiful woman that has never had an orgasm - you have to fix that."

The guy laughs it off and figures it is an impossible task. But as the night goes on, his courage is building and he figures why not?

He quickly grabs the bottle of whiskey and downs it all in one go. Then he heads behind the first door to handle the alligator. The bar patrons are waiting... and waiting... finally, after an hour of screaming and banging and thrashing around, the man emerges from the door with a smile on his face. Bloodied, bruised, and his clothes in tatters, he says to the bartender, "now where's that lady with the bad tooth?"
 

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Alf

Keeper of the Dowager Tabby
Staff member
Is it even possible to get an alligator drunk? Like seriously.
I DDG'd "drunken alligator", and got this as one of my replies:
`
Florida: Zoo employee killed while attempting to rape an alligator

[Image of innocent 3rd party removed]

A zookeeper was killed this morning in the alligator enclosure of the Naples Zoo, while he was attempting to sexually assault a 12-foot long reptile.

According to Captain Henri White, spokesman of the Naples Police Department, 24-year old Jimmy Olsen was engaged in full sexual intercourse with one of the younger reptiles, when he was surprised by one of the larger animals which attacked from behind.

The young man was caught by the throat by the alligator who dragged him underwater and drowned him.

Jimmy Olsen’s death took place around 6:00 AM this morning, but his disappearance was noticed only an hour later by other employees.

They finally discovered his dismembered body floating in the pool of the alligator enclosure around 8:30.
This would be a helluva coda to this tale, save for one thing: The story graces the pages of World News Daily Report. Quoting their disclaimer,
World News Daily Report assumes all responsibility for the satirical nature of its articles and for the fictional nature of their content. All characters appearing in the articles in this website – even those based on real people – are entirely fictional and any resemblance between them and any person, living, dead or undead, is purely a miracle.
So, my search for whether an alligator can get drunk continues.

--Al
 
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Forfcuksake

Active Member
I DDG'd "drunken alligator", and got this as one of my replies:


This would be a helluva coda to this tale, save for one thing: The story graces the pages of World News Daily Report. Quoting their disclaimer,
So, my search for whether an alligator can get drunk continues.

--Al
I was so hoping that was true
 

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Doober

Active Member
they can be quite aggressive and unpredictable because of the small medulla oblongata, alligators also have a small one. No one thought of the water boy? Really?
 

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