Police say now that if they’d known about reports of strife within Kelli Sly’s apartment, they probably would have asked more questions about her mindset, and they would have probed more deeply into whether she posed a threat to her young son.
But no one told the Indianola officers that neighbors had complained of an adult in the apartment screaming and a baby crying deep into the night.
The Warren County Housing Authority, which owns the taxpayer-supported Indian Country Apartments, determined on March 22 that the noise was so disruptive that Sly had to be evicted. Police who went to the apartment hours before Sly killed her son were unaware of that decision, or of the fact that state officials had investigated earlier child-abuse allegations against Sly, 23.
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Two officers responded to the apartment after Sly’s estranged husband and her mother called police on March 24 to report that Sly had threatened suicide, which she’d attempted twice before. The officers found a seemingly stable young mother bathing her 2-year-old son, Gavin.
She seemed upset with her husband, officers noted, but she convinced them she wasn’t suicidal. They observed that the place was spotless and orderly, and they concluded that her family’s fears were unfounded. The officers’ report gives no hint of concern about Gavin’s safety.
Sly’s reasonable demeanor was a facade. Shortly after the officers left, she poisoned Gavin with a large overdose of drugs, including allergy medicine. Then she slashed her wrists with a razor and lay down on a bed with him. After she woke up next to his body the next morning, she got in her car and killed herself by smashing it into a bridge support.
One of the unanswered questions is whether the housing authority notified state child protection officials about the troubling sounds coming from Sly’s apartment, or whether the landlord simply decided to throw the family out.
Steve Scott, executive director of the group Prevent Child Abuse Iowa, said landlords are not legally required to report signs of child abuse. But he said he would hope that a landlord or neighbors would make such a call if they repeatedly heard an adult screaming at a child all night long.
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According to documents obtained by The Des Moines Register, the Iowa Department of Human Services received complaints last fall that Kelli had been abusing Gavin.
The complaints included that Kelli had spanked the boy so hard that a hand print was visible on his buttock the next day; that she threw a bottle at him when he was in his crib; that she screamed profanity at him; and that she used a baby gate to lock him in his room for hours because she didn’t want him messing up the apartment.
A state social worker visited the apartment in September and determined that there was little evidence Kelli had abused Gavin. She denied all allegations of mistreating her son. The social worker saw no unusual marks on the boy, and she wrote that he seemed “happy and healthy … and the bond between the two was apparent.†The social worker determined the allegations were unfounded, and the report was stamped “confidential.â€
The DHS report also notes that Kelli had a tumultuous relationship with her husband, Tim Sly, who spent much of Gavin’s childhood serving with the Iowa National Guard in Afghanistan.
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Kelli had an explosive, unpredictable temper, he said, and many of the fights involved money or her obsessive need for cleanliness. Something as minor as a couple of blades of grass tracked onto the carpet would set her off, he said.
She would yell often and sometimes hit him with her hand or strike him with a door. He says he yelled back but never struck her. She told authorities he did, so she could get full custody of their son, he said.
Tim is a tall, muscular man with a soldier’s share of tattoos. He said authorities always seemed to believe his wife, who was nearly a foot shorter than him and was good at turning on the tears.
“I’d never hit a woman,†he said. “I could fill a courtroom with people willing to back me up on that.â€
Tim left in the summer of 2010 for a year’s deployment to Afghanistan. The couple often used the Internet to fight from 7,000 miles apart. Tim came home last summer and moved in with Kelli, but the marriage was doomed. The couple broke up in August and started divorce proceedings.
He and her mother said Kelli tried to kill herself last November. She sent him pictures of her slashed wrists, and she spent about a week at Mercy Franklin Center, a Des Moines psychiatric facility. She told both of them that she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but neither knew whether that was true.
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Throughout the turmoil, Tim never thought Kelli would hurt their son, a cheerful little boy who rarely caused trouble. “She was a good mom. She cared about Gavin,†he said. “I thought that’s what was keeping her together.â€
He believes last fall’s DHS investigation was sparked by a complaint from someone in his family. But he doesn’t know whether there was anything to the anonymous allegations that she had mistreated their son. He suspects part of the reason she resisted getting more mental health treatment was that she feared the DHS would try to take away Gavin.
Kelli’s life spiraled downward this spring. She lost a job at a convenience store, reportedly because she was often absent. Then came the eviction notice, the second one she’d received, again citing the noise from the apartment. Sherri Sinclair had hired a lawyer to fend off the first eviction threat, which came in January, but the new one looked like it was going to stick.
Sherri Sinclair said she suggested Kelli and Gavin move in with her, but Kelli became despondent.
“She thought they would end up on the street,†her mother said.
On Saturday, March 24, Kelli called and texted her mother and husband, saying she saw no reason to live. Both were working that day — Sinclair for a cleaning service in Waukee, and Tim in Missouri with his boss. They were unable to immediately go to Indianola, but they agreed to meet the next morning at Kelli’s apartment, where Tim would watch Gavin and Sinclair would try to persuade Kelli to go in for psychiatric treatment.
In the meantime, they called police and asked that officers check on Kelli. Sinclair said she told police she could come get Gavin in a couple of hours if Kelli needed to go to a hospital right away.
The two officers who responded to the calls noted in their report that Kelli’s home was immaculate. They took that not as a sign of mental illness but of normality.
“Part of the observation was that the apartment was in order. It was clean, it was neat, it didn’t look like anyone was depressed,†Detective Sgt. Brian Sher said in an interview. “Kelli was actually bathing Gavin, and when you’re bathing someone, you’re planning for the future, you’re planning for bedtime. (There was) no sign of anything bad that was going to happen. The officers asked Kelli a lot of different questions about wanting to hurt herself — and she said no, she was just angry at the time, and she just stated she was not going to hurt herself.â€
Police had gone to her apartment last November, after she slashed her wrists. Officers also had interacted with her a few times when she was working at the convenience store. But they didn’t know her well, the sergeant said.
Sher said the officers were unaware of the pending eviction, or of the reasons for it. He said if they’d known about complaints that Kelli screamed at her son, and that the boy cried all night, the officers probably would have looked more deeply into how her mindset might affect him.
“I think it would have led to more questions,†he said. “If you know someone’s being evicted, or in the process, and you don’t see boxes being boxed up or whatever, it could lead to different questions.â€
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The same officers who checked on Kelli that fateful afternoon wound up finding Gavin’s body the next morning. Sher, who went to the murder scene that day, said counselors later helped officers work through their feelings about the case.
Split on whether to require abuse reports
Scott, of Prevent Child Abuse Iowa, said he sympathizes with the police officers, who had insufficient information to decide what to do about Kelli.
“Unfortunately, nobody was playing with all 52 cards,†he said.
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Sherri Sinclair and Tim Sly echo many frustrations and observations about Kelli’s behavior, but also share shock that Kelli would turn her rage on her son.
“I just never had any experience that would make me think she would ever harm Gavin,†Sinclair said. “But I know how she was as a young girl — and there was anger there.â€
Sinclair still doubts that Kelli routinely screamed at Gavin all night long. But she said if those complaints were true, the housing authority manager should have called child protection experts.
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It sounds like Kelli was very, very good at manipulating everyone around her and hiding the fact that things were getting worse with her. I feel so terrible for her mother, husband and most especially for Gavin. In my opinion the blame lies with Kelli and Kelli alone, based on the information that's available. Fuck her! She had gads of help being offered and made the choice to not use it. FUCK HER!
