Rape Advocate Amber Amour Was Raped In A Hostel. Live Updates It All On Instagram

[Nell]

A New York advocate for sexual assault victims says she was raped inside a South African hostel and posted live updates of her experience on Instagram moments after the attack.

Amber Amour was in Cape Town on the “Stop Rape. Educate” campaign she organized at the time of the alleged rape in November.

“I knew I needed to tell the story because that’s what I do, I help victims of sexual assault,” Amour, 27, told the Daily News.

I documented everything that happened and I took a picture of myself,” she said of her decision to post about her experience, which received both support and backlash online.

The alleged attack happened inside the Carnival Court hostel bathroom of her accused attacker, after he invited the activist up to his room.

Amour wasn’t a guest at the hostel but had been waiting for a friend who never showed up.

“I had been really sick for the two days prior and it seemed like a miracle to be offered a hot shower,” she said.

But it wasn’t an innocent offering, Amour said.

“The water wasn’t even running, as soon as I got in the bathroom, that’s when he attacked,” she said.

“I was completely dressed until he ripped my clothes off.”

Amour said the man forced her to perform oral sex and forced vaginal and anal penetration until she passed out from the pain and shock.

Amour’s decision to document her story, including a tearful selfie immediately after the alleged attack and a photo of her bare legs before getting a rape kit at the hospital, was met with both condemnation and support.

“You are honestly a disgusting excuse of a human,” posted Instagram user lexusssss. “you are the reason actual victims lose credibility,” she said in disbelief.

Amour posted screen shots of people she says “victim-blamed” her to make a statement.

http://m.nydailynews.com/news/natio...s-cape-town-rape-experience-article-1.2488846

 

[Macabre]

I soooo have mixed feelings about this one.
Yes, I would like to say I find this girl obnoxious and attention seeking, but at the end of the day NO means NO.

People like her will scourge credibility, because instagramming your rape is just tacky.
Same with the girls that record their abortions. Poor taste.

However; at the end of the day, she has the right to do this.
Rape is wrong. Even tacky rape.

 

[TokioFreak]

*breaths in and prepares for backlash*

The first time I remember being sexually molested was age 9, although as an adult, I've been told that I showed signs of abuse much younger, and I can't remember entire chuncks of my childhood. The times that I can't remember coincide with the times I lived with my abuser, a step parent. I can remember preschool in detail, becuse my mom and biological dad were still together. I don't remember kindergarten at all, and that's when he moved in with us. I remember first and second grade in detail because he was in jail and away from us. I can't remember third grade at all and he lived with us. From there, my memory is horrifically clear. The abuse didn't stop until I was 16, and he left my mother for good. My mother had know that I was being abused since I was 11. My friend at school had a book that listed all the addresses of where to send fan letters to boy band. I wrote to Brian from the Backstreet Boys and told him everything. Mom found it in my school notebook before it ever got sent. The usual happened. I was told not to lie. It all came out when he left. She was pissed and wanted to hurt him for leaving, so she made a big deal about calling the police to report it.

This is when the family of my biological dad found out. My younger brother and I were conceived to make my dad stay with my mom. He is 15 years older than she was, and had already been married, had my 3 sisters and gotten divorced. He had no interest in raising more kids. He wasn't a good father, but he never hurt us, and like all kids we worshipped the ground he walked on. His family adored us. My older sisters dressed me like a doll and did my hair. My paternal grandma loved us so much, I'm fairly certain that's the only reason he went to the courts to get visitation rights, his mother made him. Anyway, growing up, I always felt safe and wanted around the paternal side of my family. So when all this came out, naturally they were supportive of me. They meant well, but the biggest struggle to over come was the question of why I never did anything. I kept hearing, if only you'd said something we could've stopped it. I don't really know why I never said anything. Those people meant well, but their statements put an element of blame on me.

Anyway, that background puts me to my current statement. I don't understand why grown women put themselves in unsafe situations. Like, I live in a college town. A few years back, there was a huge frat party that involved people of both genders consuming massive amounts of drugs and booze. Some of the women came forward and reported they'd been the victims of sexual assault while blacked out. I made the comment, why would you do so many drugs and drink so much that you're blacking out and have no control over your own body, then expect nothing bad to happen? I was accused of blaming the victim. Also, in this case. She went to a hotel room with a drunk man that she barely knew, agreeing to shower with him. I thought part of rape advocacy was teaching women how to avoid being victims. I would like to be clear in saying that it wasn't their fault, neither this woman or the students. The blame falls on those who assaulted them. But I just don't understand why they'd put themselves in that situation. Maybe because of my past situations, I'm overly cautious. Am I alone in this line of thought? Am I a victim blamer?

 

[mynameiskat]

I don't care what country you're in agreeing to take a shower with some dude you barely know is just dumb. Did she deserve to be raped no.... but she sure isn't very smart

 

[Krystal]

@TokioFreak I gave you an awesome but I also want to show love.

My story is nothing compared to yours, I got my 13 year old self in a dangerous situation and paid the price. As a result I feel the same as you.

It's Smart Girl 101- Don't go with strange men anywhere alone.

Doesn't make her less of a rape victim though.

 

[Apryl]

She's putting herself in these positions maybe not hoping it will happen, but knowing it probably will, so that she can get the attention later. Shameless attention seeking behavior. Nobody deserves to be raped, but I think she knows what she's doing, especially since she's worked in that environment and I believe it said she has been raped before on multiple occasions?

 

[Jake88]

I blame the victim here. That's totally fucked up. I mean he's a piece of shit too. Wow, I don't think I've ever seen somebody try to get raped before lol. False rape sure, but actually try to get legitimately raped? Not even some kind of rape fantasy either... WTF!!!???
[doublepost=1452232441,1452232319][/doublepost]Like the Life of David Gale kind of... I think. WTF. Mindblown.

 

[Nell]

I blame the victim here. That's totally fucked up. I mean he's a piece of shit too. Wow, I don't think I've ever seen somebody try to get raped before lol. False rape sure, but actually try to get legitimately raped? Not even some kind of rape fantasy either... WTF!!!???
[doublepost=1452232441,1452232319][/doublepost]Like the Life of David Gale kind of... I think. WTF. Mindblown.

Being a man I wouldn't expect you to understand this but the ladies above me aren't shaming, they're asking themselves why she didn't follow one of the number one rule of being a vagina owner, which is don't wander off to another site with a strange man, you may be assaulted.

Is it sad that we all know this and for the most part live in a small state of distrust and fear? Yes. But it is what it is.


Edited to add-

Fuck me, I thought you were thinking the women were victim shaming. No, you are. That's gross Jake.

 

[SimplySpaztastic]

I blame the victim here. That's totally fucked up. I mean he's a piece of shit too. Wow, I don't think I've ever seen somebody try to get raped before lol. False rape sure, but actually try to get legitimately raped? Not even some kind of rape fantasy either... WTF!!!???
[doublepost=1452232441,1452232319][/doublepost]Like the Life of David Gale kind of... I think. WTF. Mindblown.

Oh Jakey.
Please please tell me that you don't think she went there with the intent being to get raped? Am I reading this wrong??
I have VERY mixed feelings on this story- will keep my eye on it n look for more info. Cuz I have further questions, before I decide how I feel.

I have to say, its gross, and quite a bit creepy that u think she was SEEKING to be raped. Creepier still, that you BLAME HER for it. No one ever sets out thinking, ooohhh its gonna be great, I'm gonna get raped N tell the world- Instagram it even..

Thats ignorant, and a wee beyond the line of creepy. That to me sounds like something someone would come up with, to justify the act of rape, in general..
Sexual abuse n rape are extremely traumatic experiances, that change people mentally, emotionally, socially, and sexually.

Even if she went there with full intentions to suck on his balls but then changed her mind, that is still, by no means asking to get raped. No one WANTS to be raped.. When anyone (man or woman) says NO and someone forcefully disregards that, it is RAPE.

She could have danced butt naked on a tabletop, for all I give a fuck. If she said No, there is no one to blame but the sick, rapey, fucker, Who's disgusting need for sexual control stole a part of her body, and a part of her soul in his perverse acts. PERIOD.

Could this all have been a publicity/ awareness ploy? Yes, absolutely.
Could this have been consentual to start, yet turned into rape after she changed her mind or said no stop? Yes, absolutely.
Could he have raped her, and this is her way of handling/ or coping with it? Yes, absolutely.
Is her Instagramming immediately following the attack, weird as all fuck? Yes, absolutely.
Was it in any way her fault she was raped? NO, absolutely not.
Could she have been more careful as to situations she put herself in? Maybe, yes.. however, still NOT her fault.

Blaming victims and no one believing victims, are at the top of the list of the reasons why most rape/ sexual abuse victims DONT report it, or seek any help. It is also why they feel so ashamed to speak up about.

I pray that if you truly do blame her, you seek help for your own thoughts, as that is NOT a normal thought process. I also hope, that you never have a loved one come to you, confiding in you, seeking your help after a rape or sexual assault. Cuz if you blamed them, they may not tell anyone else, instead suffering silently. Which NOONE should have to do.

If I misunderstood your point or I got it wrong somehow, please correct me. If it is what you meant, please explain HOW you see it is HER fault, and the logic you are seeing it contain. I am truly unable to understand, at this point why or how u came up with this.. ?? Just NO. Not ok.

 

[JackBurton]

why would you do so many drugs and drink so much that you're blacking out and have no control over your own body, then expect nothing bad to happen? I was accused of blaming the victim. Also, in this case. She went to a hotel room with a drunk man that she barely knew, agreeing to shower with him. I thought part of rape advocacy was teaching women how to avoid being victims. I would like to be clear in saying that it wasn't their fault, neither this woman or the students. The blame falls on those who assaulted them. But I just don't understand why they'd put themselves in that situation. Maybe because of my past situations, I'm overly cautious. Am I alone in this line of thought? Am I a victim blamer?

Briliant post, 100% correct.

This isn't up for opinion, this woman is a fucking idiot. I don't knowhow she exxpected this to turn out well, especially being in a rapey country like South Africa, good lord what a dipshit.

South Africa is a disgusting shithole with a vile "culture".

 

[Loreena]

If you don't want to have sex with a man you DO NOT take a shower with them! You are getting naked in a confined space alone with a man and expect nothing to happen. This is insane!

I was a victim of sexual abuse as a child and young adult. I have never been forcefully raped though and I cannot imagine what the pain of that must be like. However, I also have NEVER taken a shower with a man that I had no intentions of having sexual relations with. This lady is an advocate for rape victims?? It seems to me like she was trying to put herself in a situation where she could cry rape. She knew this guy had feelings for her and she knew he was drunk and she agreed to take a shower with him???

 

[Momzilla]

I thought part of rape advocacy was teaching women how to avoid being victims. I would like to be clear in saying that it wasn't their fault, neither this woman or the students. The blame falls on those who assaulted them. But I just don't understand why they'd put themselves in that situation. Maybe because of my past situations, I'm overly cautious. Am I alone in this line of thought? Am I a victim blamer?

Exactly what I was thinking- I don't blame the victim for the rape but I do think she put herself into an extremely sketchy situation. As a 'rape advocate' you would expect her to be aware that going alone to take a shower with a drunk stranger is a bad idea?

HOWEVER the fact is:
Making yourself 'tempting' to a rapist does not excuse the rape or make you less of a victim!

That being said, it's always good to be pro-active & try to avoid putting yourself in dangerous/vulnerable situations- you probably wouldn't walk through the rough part of town alone at night, fanning yourself with $100 bills- it's just using your head to give yourself an advantage over the evil in this world.

 

[Athena]

I think Jake's assessment was crass... but his skepticism is not wrong, here.

Now, hear me out.

Les Shroud (Survivorman), survival expert, doesn't just tell us how to survive. He gets dropped off alone in dangerous places and occasionally incurs injury so he can show us, because that is more powerful.

This woman's actions leading up to the assault were as directly converse to conventional knowledge in this arena as anything I've ever seen, and it begs the question. She's not some naive 13-year-old. She is a worldly 27-year-old rape advocate. And she is using the experience to show women how to survive, rather than just telling them.

For those of us who run in political and feminist circles, we know that the question of consent is a fairly hot topic these days. In fact, in a recent study performed with teenagers, where they were offered a variety of "is it rape?" scenarios, a disturbing percentage of them, both male and female, flat out got it wrong. We've still got a TON of work to do on this topic.

Lots of people have lied about or faked various forms of victimization. Sometimes they do it out of revenge, to frame an ex. Sometimes they are compelled by a martyr complex, and we just can't quite grasp the reason. And, sometimes, people do it to advance their agenda or notoriety. It's nothing new or even remotely uncommon.

Is it possible that a particularly zealous individual might take it a step further and martyr him or herself in order to obtain the credibility and power that particular brand of victimhood offers? Yes, and we could possibly be looking at such a case, as unconscionable as it is to those of us who have survived or fear sexual assault.

She still got raped. The violence was real. Its impact on her was real. Could she have been intentionally willing to survive that if she thought she could use it to help countless numbers of other women? I'm more inclined to believe that than the fact that she, a rape advocate, just happened to break every fucking rule in the book of self-protection.

Furthermore, for her sake and for the sake of victims everywhere, I hope it works. I hope victims are empowered to obtain a rape exam, to not feel shame, to not hide their stories. If this woman did what I, personally, think she did, I hope her suffering is not in vain.

And I don't think she's fucked up for doing it, any more than someone willing to be bitten by a snake to show you what you need to do next. But I do think it'll backfire.

*Edited because I said I didn't know what to think. Obviously, I figured it out over the course of writing the post.

 

[CRWX]

This may not be a very popular opinion but if I ask a girl to come get naked and take a shower with me I would tend to believe it's mutually clear that I'm proposing a sexual encounter. I'd prefer to take my own shower otherwise.

If I became aware at any point that she saw it differently and wasn't interested, I would absolutely put on the brakes. I have never and will never force myself on anyone. Still, even in this era of mutual, informed, continuous consent, "lets go get naked and jump in the shower" means "I'll wash yours, you wash mine" to me.

 

[Nell]

If that is the truth of it @Athena she better pray to god she didn't get HIV in her quest to teach us all a basic "don't go into a shower with a stranger or you may get raped" lesson.

 

[Oberle]

I always thought that a boys school, where they focused on building good, men, ones with open minds and open hearts, would be vastly more effective.

YES to this!

 

[Sevens My Charm]

If that is the truth of it @Athena she better pray to god she didn't get HIV in her quest to teach us all a basic "don't go into a shower with a stranger or you may get raped" lesson.

Thank you!
I read -Africa + Rape and my mind popped up with a big = HIV! That's one lesson she might learn all by herself.

 

[Oberle]

Is "rape advocate" really the intended term? Wouldn't she be an anti-rape advocate?

 

[Athena]

Is "rape advocate" really the intended term? Wouldn't she be an anti-rape advocate?

I chuckled a little too hard at this, but yes, you're absolutely right. "Rape victim advocate" would be the accurate term. :hilarious:

 

[Coppereyes]

I keep re reading this, sorry but I feel like she knew and kinda wanted the attention. I was raped. Her being an "advocate", she knew better. I think she wanted to "feel" what rape victims go thru? Kinda put herself in that situation, maybe even on purpose? Don't hate me, just sayn...rape Im use to tends to be more brutal. Don't think most women take pics like that after.

 

[Seven]

Was it in any way her fault she was raped? NO, absolutely not.

"Was it in ANY way HER fault"??? YES! Without a doubt?!!
If a person decides to go stand in the middle of a road & gets hit by a car...how would that not be their fault?

She admits: to kissing him "but then he seemed drunk". What, how fast did that go down? Was there NO interaction before that kiss? I seriously doubt she had no idea he wasn't drunk or whatever, BEFORE the kiss. COME ON. If a person is messed up, they're going to be just as messed up BEFORE the kiss as they would be AFTER. Sheesh.
She admits: to getting in the shower because the enticement of a hot shower was simply irresistible...Again, COME ON. I feel like she's feeding BS in hopes to justify her messed up "reasoning". As if somehow we're going to go from some asinine place of, "Oh well now, WAIT. It WAS a hot shower....& her shower was cold...you know HOW AWFUL THAT CAN BE so she HAD to have that HOT shower!!!" That is THE SAME KIND OF "LOGIC" as Andrea Yates had, in killing her kids so they'd go to Heaven!?!!!

I hate she got raped but she TOTALLY put herself in harm's way. WHO TAKES A SHOWER with some dude who was just harassing her, moments before?! & WHO POSTS THAT, immediately thereafter?!!! I also find her photos to be all the more disturbing, if not THE most unnerving thing about her entire post.

She had *every *kind *of *red *flag being waved in her face, yet she saunters around the place "searching for her friend who's not there" .."giving a note to another" (? Which, btw WHO WRITES NOTES THESE DAYS?!)
WILLINGLY kisses him, WILLINGLY gets naked..HAIL NAW. I'm not in the least bit convinced & I think there's a LOT that's twisted in this story. Sure, the rapist is slime but I don't trust her story AT ALL.

Let me give another example of how an effed up person thinks. (Not that we all aren't already aware but anyway) MANY years ago, I was asked to be on a radio show. Since it was early in the morning, I had my mother spend the night so she could watch my daughter. Once I was there, & mind you, I'd never done anything like this before & they just wanted me to be a 3 day trial sidekick, reading the news & throwing in commentary every now & then. I wasn't even there long enough to get into the swing of things, when they started taking callers & much to my horror, I see the name "KIM" taped on the glass. This was also a MEN'S show, btw.

"Hi, Kim! You're our first caller, what are your thoughts?" I was FROZEN. Horrified. "Mom? What are you doing??" Yet, she continued. Kim went into this INSANE concocted story about her husband, who was also listening to the show, heard my voice fell in love & they got into a FIGHT because now he didn't want to go to work because he wanted to stay home (? Like there's not a radio in the car) and LISTEN TO ME. Kill me now.

Crickets. The two hosts looked at me with narrowed eyes, obviously thinking I'd gotten my MOM to call in. "Um, mom? Are you trying to tell me something weird about dad?" They hung up on her at that point. Needless to say, that & the remaining two days were HELL. But in confronting Kim she immediately called ME the idiot, saying I should've gone along with it. See, TO HER...along with her history, a married man who gave no thought to his wife, furthermore willing to go the distance & CHEAT.... was THE ULTIMATE COMPLIMENT. Yes, really.

To a twisted mind, twisted logic makes complete sense. In Amber Amour's world, playing a seductive dance of tease only to deny her target when she so chooses is just another move in her game of control. It's a power trip & she took it too far this time. The fact that she's POSTING THOSE PICTURES disgusts me because I see through it all, right down to the dirty core of her Narcissism. She needs attention, so no matter how vile or corrupt the means are to get it, she's willing to go there.
Btw, Amber AMOUR? As in "love"?! I'm curious to see her previous online activity...but not so much that I'll actually look. Just willing to bet she's further driving the nail of my point into her coffin.

Anyone who's familiar with the Narcissist Monster will recognize & agree; it's ALL about THEM. Those photos take it to SUCH an immense degree of insensitivity, I literally am beyond infuriated by looking at them. As most of us who have been sexually abused, the first thing felt is disgust & shame. OF COURSE it's not a similar situation & we didn't get naked in a shower, etc. To THAT, I can say it wasn't the victims fault. But to THIS? MOST CERTAINLY SO.

 

[Muriel Schwenck]

Um, Seven, that was a bit long winded, but I do agree.
There is something hinky and narcissistic about an activist in one of the rape capitals of the world basically throwing herself into a rape situation then immediately reporting/advertising it with weepy selfies.

 

[Momzilla]

Whatever happened to NO MEANS NO! Even if she 'teased' & 'tempted' this rapist-- what are we to believe she's some type of sucubus that put him into a trance where he was unable to control himself??

And @Seven i think your analogy of standing in the middle of the street & not expecting to be hit would only apply if the driver saw the person, aimed for them & mowed them down purposefully because 'well they must WANT to get hit if they are in the road'??

I guess I've never seen any grey area when it comes to rape- if you say NO (even once it's been initiated) then sex must stop or its rape.

 

[gatekeeper]

I just can't get comfortable finding a firm stance on this one no matter how you slice it. The questions surrounding a possible ulterior motive aside, I think any attorney on either side worth their fees would agree that it's not a very wise idea for this to become the "next big thing" in rape and sexual assault cases.

 

[Jake88]

Being a man I wouldn't expect you to understand this but the ladies above me aren't shaming, they're asking themselves why she didn't follow one of the number one rule of being a vagina owner, which is don't wander off to another site with a strange man, you may be assaulted.
Is it sad that we all know this and for the most part live in a small state of distrust and fear? Yes. But it is what it is.
Edited to add-
Fuck me, I thought you were thinking the women were victim shaming. No, you are. That's gross Jake.

Really Nell? You are smarter than that. You just defended victim shaming in the SAME post you chastised me for it. LMAO. Wow.

I think it's funny. "Asking why she didn't follow the number on rule of being a vagina owner..." IS VICTIM SHAMING! You are putting blame on the victim by questioning the decision she made. Unreal that I need to explain that. In any case, I don't even care- you ARE right to question her decision making.

Put it another way: I was walking down a dark alley way in the ghetto at 3 AM wearing flashy jewelry and got beat over the head and robbed. Now I didn't exactly "ask" for it, however some people might question my decision making that led to it. That would be victim shaming. Saying I played a part in becoming a victim. Me feeling ashamed of the decisions I made leading to me becoming a victim aka feeling my share of responsibility.

Just like you women are saying SHE played a part in being a victim. That is victim blaming/shaming, quite clearly. It might be indirect but it is still victim blaming. Even worse because you are defending it like it's "okay," and in a way EVEN worse still- because you don't even realize it!

I'm not backing down. That instagram photo of her doing the rape kit is the most outrageous thing I have ever seen. In her mind it may have been grasping the severity of rape, when in my mind it was making a mockery of it. I wouldn't be surprised if other victims share my take on that.

I am the crusader for women and children on here lol. I'm just not the blind crusader you might all rather me be. When I don't throw my hat in her corner- there's an issue...

That being said @Athena is correct. Whether she encouraged it or not, a real crime took place. The violence was real, and I should of been a little softer maybe. I don't know. I was going for the shock factor I guess.

This is one last cold blooded shot. If she did try and make this happen which again as @Athena also pointed out, the fact she is an anti-rape activist yet clearly went against all of the advice that you would think she tells other women AND documented it all via social media is strange.

Some victims wonder what they may have done to cause their victimization, most didn't do anything and therefore are severely traumatized as a result. They have trouble trusting ANYONE. Going outside alone. It's torture from what I can understand. The victim here knows exactly what led to her becoming a victim. I'm not saying she doesn't have recovering to do, but the longest lasting effect is the emotional/mental trauma. I don't think she's going to have that problem...
[doublepost=1452622317,1452618976][/doublepost]

Please please tell me that you don't think she went there with the intent being to get raped? Am I reading this wrong??

Yes. I do. Being an anti-rape activist combined with her documenting it on social media led me to that belief. I think she's seen the film "The Life of David Gale." I would bet on that. I'm not saying that alone makes her guilty, but it would be pretty damning.

I have to say, its gross, and quite a bit creepy that u think she was SEEKING to be raped. Creepier still, that you BLAME HER for it. No one ever sets out thinking, ooohhh its gonna be great, I'm gonna get raped N tell the world- Instagram it even..

RIght? Kind of crazy, no? And yet that is EXACTLY what she did. She told the world on instagram. For her cause. So she just happened to be raped while there for an anti-rape campaign SHE organized? That's a pretty big fucking coincidence don't you think?

Which I would be able to write off as horrible coincidence if she DIDN'T go against EVERYTHING a woman(Much less an anti-rape activist such as herself) knows about "rape prevention". As much as I hate that fucking term. No one should have to take precautions to avoid getting raped. Unfortunately this is the society we live in.

Thats ignorant, and a wee beyond the line of creepy. That to me sounds like something someone would come up with, to justify the act of rape, in general..
Sexual abuse n rape are extremely traumatic experiances, that change people mentally, emotionally, socially, and sexually.

Okay I am getting irritated at you hinting like I am some fucking rape hound or something. I never defended the rapist. I wrote a quick post last week barely touching on everything I thought about this-clearly. I should make it clear that the rapist is a still a god damn piece of shit rapist.

I personally can't stand crime committed(especially by men) against women and children. That is kind of my thing on here. I would personally crush rapists and child molesters. Actually pound their fucking skull into their brain causing it to hemorrhage a great deal. I would do this mainly for exercise and fun.

That is the sick part of my brain you misjudged. I can torture people I believe deserve it. I want to torture people that I believe deserve it. You can all just be thankful my moral compass is quite accurate thank you very much. Think Dexter. With empathy.

I pray that if you truly do blame her, you seek help for your own thoughts, as that is NOT a normal thought process. I also hope, that you never have a loved one come to you, confiding in you, seeking your help after a rape or sexual assault. Cuz if you blamed them, they may not tell anyone else, instead suffering silently. Which NOONE should have to do.

I do blame her. It is harsh to put it into those words. I could say: "I don't blame her, I just question her decision making." Lmao like everyone else did! I blame the rapist for the act, I should make that clear.

Either way, I believe she tried to get raped. Not in your sick "Oh she was asking for it!" kind of way, which I understand that is how you took it. I believe she wanted to get raped for her not so hidden agenda.

That is what is caused me to be so ruthless. If I'm right, she will have sent rape victims back 100 years! That is what caused my venom btw. Thinking about OTHER rape victims that suffer every day thank you very much. I hope you understand me a little bit better now. If not, I don't care! I don't think it needs to be said but if someone came to me telling me they were raped, they wouldn't be pointing them out in court. They would be pointing them out to me. So I could get my stress therapy in.

 

[Jake88]

I wasn't shaming her, and I resent you saying that I was. I was merely saying that if you are going to travel abroad, educate yourself about the places you are going to and don't participate in what would be considered dangerous activities here in the US, let alone in a place where the culture regarding rape is so vastly different. You have a responsibility to yourself to be aware. I also find it hard to believe in today's day and age that one DOESN'T know how dangerous South Africa is. (Which is why I tend to agree that chances are good she set herself up for way more than she bargained for.

I wasn't ever referring to you lol. Did you make the "number one rule about owning a vagina" comment? I agreed with all of your posts in this thread. You weren't the only one frowning on her decision making. Rightfully so. I mean the decisions she made, might make one believe that she wanted to be raped. No?

If you questioned her decision making at all- yes you blamed her. Whether you resent it or not, doesn't change my opinion. Is there a difference between victim shaming and blaming that I am unaware of? If you make them feel blamed, shame is the very next emotion they feel...

The best part in all of this, is that I have NEVER blamed a woman for the decisions leading to them being raped. Ever.

Do you know I clicked on the thread when I read the title to chew up the rapist?

The only thing that caused me to blame her was the fact that I believe she actually TRIED to get raped. Nothing to do with her shitty horrible decision making, it was her motives that led to her INTENTIONALLY making shitty horrible decisions that made me blame her. I still do. I don't blame her for the act of rape, I blame her for the fact that she got raped because that is what she set out to do.

For me to be so outspoken on a topic like this.... says a lot more about this "victim" then it does about me...

 

[robin299]

Does anyone here actually believe her story??... I read bits and pieces of this... Is there actual proof of this rape or did she make it all up?? Im serious.. To me it really seems made up for attention.. it makes no sense to me that shes a rape advocate and didnt know her poor actions would cause this. No i think its just made up. Anyone else agree or do you all think im wrong

 

[Jake88]

Should pin a medal on her really. She roped in a rapist before he had a chance to rape someone else. You know, someone that might not have actually wanted to be raped.

or did she make it all up?

I do believe she was raped. I have a feeling she has put herself in this position countless times and she finally came into contact with a rapist. I'm sure she left a long trail of blue balls behind her though...

 

[ewitsadriane]

Ugh. It sickens me that us women have to watch what we do, where we go, what we wear, and/or what we say around men for fear of "giving off the wrong idea" and getting raped. Why do women have to be taught not to be victims? Why cant men be taught not to go around raping women?

Who cares if she kissed him, who cares if she almost showered with him. Who cares if she really thought about fucking him but changed her mind. She wasn't wrong for not thinking she'd get raped. Even if no one said she deserved it, in a way, the excuse of, "she should've never agreed to a shower" screams victim shaming and no one is holding the rapist accountable for his actions at all. He should've been able to control himself. What a sick world we live in.

 

[Nell]

Jesus fuck, could we get a Tl;dr button?

It's cool Jake, I read you loud and clear.

 

[robin299]

Should pin a medal on her really. She roped in a rapist before he had a chance to rape someone else. You know, someone that might not have actually wanted to be raped.



I do believe she was raped. I have a feeling she has put herself in this position countless times and she finally came into contact with a rapist. I'm sure she left a long trail of blue balls behind her though...

You had me laughing at the last part. Ok. She prob was raped but it is so far off it had me thinking Maybe she made it up but yea she is crazy for the situation she put herself in.. Like who takes a shower wit a randim dude? To me if i wanted to take a shower wit a guy i would need a second shower after the first cuz it would be alot more than taking a shower.. Like wtf.. So it goes like this.. oh lets go take a shower random dude and please keep your hands to yourself as you see me naked in the shower random dude... He doesnt listen.. And she gets raped. Ooooo k. I guess so... If i were the people who she goes to advocate for i would find myself a new advocate.
[doublepost=1452629260,1452629037][/doublepost]Im not victim shaming or standing up for this one. Sorry... She is no gd role model for rape victims.... If im wrong in what she thinks she is then im wrong but No way in hell. Sorry