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ghosttruck

Level 57 Taco Wizard
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A man who performed a pants-down haka in the middle of a Dunedin street - "whilst his genitalia swung freely'' - has been ordered to undertake a year of counselling.


Whaiti Albert (50) appeared in the Dunedin District Court yesterday after pleading guilty to offensive behaviour, assault with a weapon and committing a threatening act.

The defendant, who lives in a Housing New Zealand flat in the middle of the student sector, was seen in the front yard of a nearby home.

Those who lived there were concerned Albert had helped himself to their alcohol and he was asked to leave.

He did.

Albert walked to the middle of Leith St and turned to face his accusers.

"He started to do a haka and, whilst he did this, he pulled down his trousers so that all the students present could see his genitalia,'' police said.

"He continued with the haka whilst his genitalia swung freely.''

The act alone was offensive, Judge Emma Smith said, but it was particularly disrespectful to Maori.

Albert left the scene of his performance but returned shortly afterwards.

He was clearly affected by alcohol, the court heard.

The man pushed over a row of rubbish bins, spilling their content over the road.

When students yelled at him to cease his erratic behaviour, Albert became enraged.

He told them he would get a Molotov cocktail, throw it into their home "and that [the] flat would burn to the ground''.

During his ravings, the defendant was confronted by a female student who implored him to go home.

"The defendant approached her, lifted a glass beer bottle above his head and threw it as hard as he could on to the ground between the victim's feet,'' court documents stated.

The woman sustained some small cuts to her legs as the shards of glass flew, but did not require medical treatment.

Despite his client having a criminal history spanning more than 30 years, counsel Jim Takas said Albert was keen to "turn over a new leaf''.

 
Is there any video of the freely swinging haka action? I suspect the entertainment value was cancelled out by the incompetent drunkenness. But I'm willing to give him a chance and rate it.

And BTW, has the haka fun been denounced as cultural appropriation in New Zealand yet? I know it's become a popular tradition in rugby and manly team sports. But it seems an over-ripe opportunity for the SJW and feminist brigade.
 
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Didn’t know what a haka was until I looked it up. Not impressed. The helicopter would’ve been better. But since the asshole did it around kids, castrate his sorry ass.
I still remember witnessing my first helicopter. The Fuzzy Grape, Springfield MA. 18 year old me was very concerned that he was hurting himself, but he said he was fine.

I have all sisters so men were a complete mystery to me.
 
I have 3 brothers and had 2 husbands and they are still a mystery to me.

I have a brother, 7 uncles and 2 husbands as well, they are def a mystery. The 2 husbands def deepened the mysterious factor though, if I'm being honest LOL. Like who decides to put the kids bikes together at 3am while you are drunk? Husbands. Normal drunks just go get shitty tacos.
(BTW that husband had zero handiness skills even sober and the bikes were almost useless and had to be taken apart and reassembled later by someone else. His ability to fearlessly kill any spider and stellar bedroom skills made up for his inability to assemble even basic furniture. Just saying.)
 
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I have a brother, 7 uncles and 2 husbands as well, they are def a mystery. The 2 husbands def deepened the mysterious factor though, if I'm being honest LOL. Like who decides to put the kids bikes together at 3am while you are drunk? Husbands. Normal drunks just go get shitty tacos.
(BTW that husband had zero handiness skills even sober and the bikes were almost useless and had to be taken apart and reassembled later by someone else. His ability to fearlessly kill any spider and stellar bedroom skills made up for his inability to put assemble even basic furniture. Just saying.)


....I ruined one of my motorcycles that way. At 1am I realized that I needed to adjust the chain and change the oil. Drunk me did the chain ok and the oil.... so I thought. Turns out I filled the engine with transmission fluid and the chain was dripping with grease.
 
Working on a bike drunk is better than squatting over a mirror whilst manscaping with cuticle scissors. I always get a laugh out of that one. SMH *giggle*
 
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