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ghosttruck

Level 57 Taco Wizard
Staff member
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A woman accused of hitting a man in the head with a bag of frozen biscuits got in a jam with Fort Pierce police, according to an arrest affidavit.

The 25-year-old woman was arrested Aug. 29 on a battery charge after the alleged carbohydrate caper in the 1300 block of North 12th Street in Fort Pierce.

The man identified as the victim told investigators “he was struck in the head with frozen biscuits.”

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He said the woman got upset and came outside where he was sitting. The alleged biscuit beatdown happened as the woman “swung the bag of frozen biscuits and struck his forehead.”

A biscuit is a type of soft bread often raised with baking powder or soda. Myriad recipes exist for sweet and savory varieties.

Some enjoy spreading butter and jelly on biscuits, while others prefer them with sausage and/or eggs. A traditional southern breakfast is “biscuits and gravy,” which features biscuits covered with gravy.
 

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Muriel Schwenck

polyracial ecosexual
Bold Member!
Gotta make biscuits from scratch, it's the only way they taste good. It's so easy! The recipe is right on the baking powder can!
If this woman had used her energy to make them from scratch, she would have a household of happy relaxed people who don't piss her off. Well, probably not, but it's still true that the best biscuits are made from scratch.
 

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Keepalowprofile

Water is for people that don't have coffee.
Bold Member!
My former mother-in-law made biscuits that were so good there were fights over them. I really wanted to make them, too, so I asked her for the recipe. Well, two handfuls of flour, one handful of lard, etc. :(
You want some family fist fights for your holiday memories photo album.

These will do it
 

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cubby

Live Long and Prosper
Bold Member!
I already know about weaponized biscuits, every biscuit I ever made was hard enough to knock you out. I've tried, time after time and I've never made a decent biscuit. My grandmother tried to teach me and it just didn't take.

In my opinion, the lard and/or shortening makes the difference, I haven't had anything good since I stopped using shortening.
 

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Muriel Schwenck

polyracial ecosexual
Bold Member!
I might have to try them this weekend! I imagine what made Vivian's so good was the lard.
Half butter, half lard makes the most amazing pie crust. Lard is the under appreciated hero of flaky crusts and biscuits. Also good in cookies. What do you think people used before crisco?
The other good part about scratch made biscuits is the little scraps of left over dough. The Cooks Treat. You roll out that last bit, dot it with butter, sugar, cinnamon, raisins. Roll it up and bake with the biscuits. Enjoy quietly by yourself with a cuppa.
If someone says "hey, don't I get some of that?" you reply, "Of course. When you make the biscuits."
 
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BuffettGirl

Well-Known Member
Bold Member!
He special I think...in the south we say "bless his heart"
I can hear my ex's Mom (Miss Fluffy Rice 1958) "Well bless his heart!" in the most saccharine voice that also oozed disdain. I wanted to be able to that SO badly! Sadly, Oregon girls don't have southern accents... :bigtears:

ETA: Checked in with the ex, it was '58, not '56, year changed accordingly.
 
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Alf

Keeper of the Dowager Tabby
Staff member
Biscuits and gravy.
Never had it.
Get some sausage, flour, and milk. Crumble the sausage in a skillet and brown. Take the sausage out, take out all but about two tablespoons of the fat, and make a light roux with the fat and flour. Stir in milk to get a gravy thickness (or a little less) and stir the sausage back in.

Biscuits, the quickbread, from a can will work as a stopgap. Peel the label and whack the black line against the edge of the counter then bake the biscuits as directed.

To bring it all together, put two biscuits per person on a plate. Split the biscuits open and lay flat, crumb side up. Spoon the gravy over the biscuits and season to taste with black pepper and salt.

--Al
 

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Brillig

Danse Macabre Instructor
Bold Member!
I once visited someone in a very small town in Kentucky. I decided to cook dinner for them one night, and went to the local store for groceries. It was a medium-small independent store, maybe 6 aisles total. I was stunned to discover that one side of one aisle was almost completely devoted to lard. Who knew there were so many kinds of lard?!? Or even more than one kind. Around here (Seattle), if you want lard you usually have to ask at the meat counter, and they go and get one of the three boxes of Armour Lard that they keep in the freezer. Seriously. Until my Kentucky adventure, I thought that was the only brand. Talk about cultural differences.
 

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