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Which one was your favorite?

  • “I Beat The Shit Out Of Her... Smothered Her, Then Did CPR And Brought Her Back”

    Votes: 3 37.5%
  • Monster Gambling Addict Bets His Wife, Loses Hand, Lets Poker Pals Gang Rape Her

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • Foster Dad "Power Bombed" 5-Year-Old

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Two Charged After 3 Year-Old Girl Starved To Death

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Cop Kidnaps And Assaults Teen In Rural MN

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Montana Man Accused Of Assaulting Child For Not Removing Hat During National Anthem

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • Funeral Home Employee Photograghed a Young Woman's Disfigured Corpse, It Ended up on Social Media

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • Defense Lawyer Wants Jurors To Look Past Doodle Pad's Tattoos

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • Florida Man Hosting Masked Sex Party Loses Control Of Weapon

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • 19 Bodies Found Hung, Butchered, Mexican Gang Turf War Suspected

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    8

Old Man Metal

Trusted Member
Staff member
The top ten most-read stories on the Front Page that were posted between last Sunday and today are:

#1: “I Beat The Shit Out Of Her... Smothered Her, Then Did CPR And Brought Her Back”
by @Sugar Cookie



#2: Monster Gambling Addict Bets His Wife, Loses Hand, Lets Poker Pals Gang Rape Her
@Turd Fergusen



#3: Foster Dad "Power Bombed" 5-Year-Old
by @Sugar Cookie



#4: Two Charged After 3 Year-Old Girl Starved To Death
by @crys_xoxo



#5: Cop Kidnaps And Assaults Teen In Rural MN
by @CrimeBuffGal



#6: Montana Man Accused Of Assaulting Child For Not Removing Hat During National Anthem
by @Satanica



#7: Funeral Home Employee Photograghed a Young Woman's Disfigured Corpse, It Ended up on Social Media
by @Muriel Schwenck



#8: Defense Lawyer Wants Jurors To Look Past Doodle Pad's Tattoos
by @ghosttruck



#9: Florida Man Hosting Masked Sex Party Loses Control Of Weapon
by @ghosttruck



#10: 19 Bodies Found Hung, Butchered, Mexican Gang Turf War Suspected
by @ghosttruck



The buzz under the Big Top this week wasn't about who got the Top Story (it was @Sugar Cookie, with a story about a truly evil fuck that tormented a little girl with smothered death and CPR), or who got the most Top Ten stories (it was @ghosttruck, who scored a Backdoor Trifecta by taking the bottom three spots, using a human doodle pad, a Mexican turf war and a days-long anonymous sex party to full advantage). It wasn't about @Turd Fergusen and @crys_xoxo, who have stubbornly refused to leave the Top Ten for a third straight week, cementing their spots with a man who bet his wife's ass and lost, and a 3-year-old who was systematically starved to death.

The real chatter was about how crowded it was.

We've had five posters in the Top Ten a number of times. Six times, to be exact.

This week, we had a record-shattering seven posters with Top Ten stories. Skipped right the fuck over six.

Joining the now-regular foursome above were @CrimeBuffGal, in at Number Five with a Minnesota cop and his undying, obsessive (and unlawful) love for a local young man.

And @Satanica, with the granddaddy of all reactionaries: a Montana man who literally body-slammed a 13-year-old boy for not removing his hat for the national anthem (although I think he's just the kind of fella that likes touching young boys, and the whole hat thing was just an excuse).

And @Muriel Schwenck, who brought us a cautionary tale about a mangled corpse, an asshole mortuary employee with a camera, and social media. And lawyers. Sharp-toothed ones.

It was like Custer's Last Stand, or a clown car: eventually, you're just like "where the fuck did they all come from?"

And like Custer's Last Stand, or a clown car, all good things must come to an end. As Confucius said: "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives." So please join me in a hearty DD salute to these seven brave souls who waded through the worst that humanity has to offer, to bring us our week's ration of Real Life Horror! For everyone here at the Big Deal, this is Old Man Metal saying "what the fuck have I done to myself?" Love ya'!
 

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