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Which one was *your* favorite?

  • Registered Sex Offender/Career Criminal Arrested For The 169th Time

    Votes: 2 25.0%
  • Woman Stabbed Her Girlfriend's Mother, Sexually Assaulted Her As She Lay Dying, Peed On Her

    Votes: 3 37.5%
  • Woman Tried To Frame Husband For Child Porn, Rape, After He Kicked Her To The Curb

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Woman Who Tried To Kill Her Son 11 Years Ago Finally Succeeds

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Sacramento County Deputies Need Help Identifying This Little Girl

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Man Ejaculates In Girlfriend's Eye When She Awakes To Him Masturbating In The Closet

    Votes: 2 25.0%
  • Semi Flattens Man Dancing In The Middle Of Pennsylvania Turnpike

    Votes: 1 12.5%
  • Woman Who Sold 8-Year-Old Girl For Sex, And Predator Who Repeatedly Raped The Girl, Arrested

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • "Here’s The Scenario: You’re A 12-Year-Old Girl... I’m Going To Rape You"

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Seriously, Who Masturbates For An Hour And A Half?

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    8

Old Man Metal

Trusted Member
Staff member
The top ten most-read stories on the Front Page that were posted between last Sunday and today are:

#1: Registered Sex Offender/Career Criminal Arrested For The 169th Time
by @Jaded



#2: Woman Stabbed Her Girlfriend's Mother, Sexually Assaulted Her As She Lay Dying, Peed On Her
by @Turd Fergusen



#3: Woman Tried To Frame Husband For Child Porn, Rape, After He Kicked Her To The Curb
by @Sugar Cookie



#4: Woman Who Tried To Kill Her Son 11 Years Ago Finally Succeeds
by @Sugar Cookie



#5: Sacramento County Deputies Need Help Identifying This Little Girl
by @Sugar Cookie



#6: Man Ejaculates In Girlfriend's Eye When She Awakes To Him Masturbating In The Closet
by @Sugar Cookie



#7: Semi Flattens Man Dancing In The Middle Of Pennsylvania Turnpike
by @ghosttruck



#8: Woman Who Sold 8-Year-Old Girl For Sex, And Predator Who Repeatedly Raped The Girl, Arrested
by @Sugar Cookie



#9: "Here’s The Scenario: You’re A 12-Year-Old Girl... I’m Going To Rape You"
by @ghosttruck



#10: Seriously, Who Masturbates For An Hour And A Half?
by @ghosttruck



Taking the top spot is longtime Queen of the Front Page @Jaded, proving that her unerring instinct for clickworthy Real Life Horror has not deserted her. She scored big this week with the story of a Brooklyn man who scored his 169th collar for random public gropery, in true Alphabet City style. Between the mugshot and the numerologically sexual overtones (reliable sources inform us that "169" is 69 with a thumb up your ass), this tale proved to be as irresistible as catnip to the masses that throng the Front Page.

Grabbing the lion's share of the stories this week (5 of them) was omnipresent Maven of Mayhem @Sugar Cookie with rapes, frame rapes, a lost waif and one hell of a Sunday morning surprise. All told, she netted over 4000 Top Ten clicks for the week. This is the third week in a row that @Sugar Cookie has had the most Top Ten articles, which means, historically, that @ghosttruck will sack her next week and keep her from setting a new record: four consecutive weeks. We shall see.

Speaking of @ghosttruck, he came back this week in a return to form, grabbing three of the Top Ten stories with high-endurance masturbation, role-playing rapists and highway-dancing shenanigans, after a week's absence doing whatever it is IT people do when they're actually working. This trifecta netted him over 2000 total Top Ten views, which is 2000 more than he got last week when he was a'nappin'. Next week should see him in top form.

Last but certainly not least was @Turd Fergusen, who always brings something nice to the Top Ten. This week he grabbed the #2 spot with a story about a really nasty, and fatal, domestic incident involving a mother and her daughter's stabby girlfriend that ended in post-mortem face-fucking and a bit of pissing. That one story was good for almost 1000 views, and is an important reminder that if it looks like it might stab you, it probably will.

So congrats to @Jaded, @Sugar Cookie, @ghosttruck and @Turd Fergusen for making the grade on the Big Deal this week, and to everyone who tried out. Keep bringing the Real Life Horror, folks, and keep living the dream! One day you too could be up here with the best of the best! For all of us under the Big Top, this is Old Man Metal saying "seeya next week, cause next week's a whole new ball of shit!" We love ya!
 

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