The top ten most-read stories on the Front Page that were posted between last Sunday and today are:
#1: Registered Sex Offender/Career Criminal Arrested For The 169th Time
by @Jaded
#2: Woman Stabbed Her Girlfriend's Mother, Sexually Assaulted Her As She Lay Dying, Peed On Her
by @Turd Fergusen
#3: Woman Tried To Frame Husband For Child Porn, Rape, After He Kicked Her To The Curb
by @Sugar Cookie
#4: Woman Who Tried To Kill Her Son 11 Years Ago Finally Succeeds
by @Sugar Cookie
#5: Sacramento County Deputies Need Help Identifying This Little Girl
by @Sugar Cookie
#6: Man Ejaculates In Girlfriend's Eye When She Awakes To Him Masturbating In The Closet
by @Sugar Cookie
#7: Semi Flattens Man Dancing In The Middle Of Pennsylvania Turnpike
by @ghosttruck
#8: Woman Who Sold 8-Year-Old Girl For Sex, And Predator Who Repeatedly Raped The Girl, Arrested
by @Sugar Cookie
#9: "Here’s The Scenario: You’re A 12-Year-Old Girl... I’m Going To Rape You"
by @ghosttruck
#10: Seriously, Who Masturbates For An Hour And A Half?
by @ghosttruck
Taking the top spot is longtime Queen of the Front Page @Jaded, proving that her unerring instinct for clickworthy Real Life Horror has not deserted her. She scored big this week with the story of a Brooklyn man who scored his 169th collar for random public gropery, in true Alphabet City style. Between the mugshot and the numerologically sexual overtones (reliable sources inform us that "169" is 69 with a thumb up your ass), this tale proved to be as irresistible as catnip to the masses that throng the Front Page.
Grabbing the lion's share of the stories this week (5 of them) was omnipresent Maven of Mayhem @Sugar Cookie with rapes, frame rapes, a lost waif and one hell of a Sunday morning surprise. All told, she netted over 4000 Top Ten clicks for the week. This is the third week in a row that @Sugar Cookie has had the most Top Ten articles, which means, historically, that @ghosttruck will sack her next week and keep her from setting a new record: four consecutive weeks. We shall see.
Speaking of @ghosttruck, he came back this week in a return to form, grabbing three of the Top Ten stories with high-endurance masturbation, role-playing rapists and highway-dancing shenanigans, after a week's absence doing whatever it is IT people do when they're actually working. This trifecta netted him over 2000 total Top Ten views, which is 2000 more than he got last week when he was a'nappin'. Next week should see him in top form.
Last but certainly not least was @Turd Fergusen, who always brings something nice to the Top Ten. This week he grabbed the #2 spot with a story about a really nasty, and fatal, domestic incident involving a mother and her daughter's stabby girlfriend that ended in post-mortem face-fucking and a bit of pissing. That one story was good for almost 1000 views, and is an important reminder that if it looks like it might stab you, it probably will.
So congrats to @Jaded, @Sugar Cookie, @ghosttruck and @Turd Fergusen for making the grade on the Big Deal this week, and to everyone who tried out. Keep bringing the Real Life Horror, folks, and keep living the dream! One day you too could be up here with the best of the best! For all of us under the Big Top, this is Old Man Metal saying "seeya next week, cause next week's a whole new ball of shit!" We love ya!
#1: Registered Sex Offender/Career Criminal Arrested For The 169th Time
by @Jaded
Registered Sex Offender/Career Criminal Arrested For The 169th Time - The Demon's Den
Arrested Monday for the 169th time, a 60-year-old Brooklyn man has been charged with engaging in criminal sexual contact with two women on PATH trains in the past several weeks, Port Authority Police said today. Police were able to collar Gian Verdelli, a registered sex offender in New York...
dreamindemon.com
#2: Woman Stabbed Her Girlfriend's Mother, Sexually Assaulted Her As She Lay Dying, Peed On Her
by @Turd Fergusen
Woman Stabbed Her Girlfriend's Mother, Sexually Assaulted Her As She Lay Dying, Peed On Her - The Demon's Den
Courtney Wallace, 21, is charged with one count each of first-degree murder and first-degree sexual abuse in the death of Cheri Simpson, according to a news release from Kanawha Prosecuting Attorney Chuck Miller. Wallace is set to be arraigned before Kanawha Circuit Judge Jennifer Bailey at 9:30...
dreamindemon.com
#3: Woman Tried To Frame Husband For Child Porn, Rape, After He Kicked Her To The Curb
by @Sugar Cookie
Woman Tried To Frame Husband For Child Porn, Rape, After He Kicked Her To The Curb - The Demon's Den
An Arkansas woman was given six years’ probation for trying to frame her husband by downloading child pornography on his cellphone and telling authorities he raped a 13-year-old girl. Cherie Renee Bolton, 34, of Siloam Springs, pleaded guilty last week in Benton County Circuit Court to...
dreamindemon.com
#4: Woman Who Tried To Kill Her Son 11 Years Ago Finally Succeeds
by @Sugar Cookie
#5: Sacramento County Deputies Need Help Identifying This Little Girl
by @Sugar Cookie
Sacramento County Deputies Need Help Identifying This Little Girl - The Demon's Den
Props to Keep for posting this in Shout last night. [....] According to the Sacramento Fire Department, a man showed up to Fire Station 57 around midnight with the child. The man told fire officials that he heard a woman screaming while at a Walmart near Florin Road and Stockton Boulevard...
dreamindemon.com
#6: Man Ejaculates In Girlfriend's Eye When She Awakes To Him Masturbating In The Closet
by @Sugar Cookie
Man Ejaculates In Girlfriend's Eye When She Awakes To Him Masturbating In The Closet - The Demon's Den
A Nashville woman awoke to a surprise Saturday morning. She told police she opened her eyes at approximately 10 a.m. and noticed her intimate partner taking care of business in the bedroom closet. She says when he noticed she was awake, he walked over and gave her an unwanted gift. Saturday...
dreamindemon.com
#7: Semi Flattens Man Dancing In The Middle Of Pennsylvania Turnpike
by @ghosttruck
Semi Flattens Man Dancing In The Middle Of Pennsylvania Turnpike - The Demon's Den
Shocked witnesses say the man pulled over on the Pa. Turnpike, got out of his car and began dancing in the middle of the highway. As KDKA-TV in Pittsburgh reports, some cars were able to swerve to avoid the dancing man, identified by authorities as Cyril Sooklal, 34. But an oncoming...
dreamindemon.com
#8: Woman Who Sold 8-Year-Old Girl For Sex, And Predator Who Repeatedly Raped The Girl, Arrested
by @Sugar Cookie
Woman Who Sold 8-Year-Old Girl For Sex, And Predator Who Repeatedly Raped The Girl, Arrested - The Demon's Den
Disturbing allegations out of Youngstown, as investigators say a woman hired out an 8-year-old girl to a man for sex. Prosecutors have located that man and he is facing rape charges but Mahoning County Sheriff's investigators believe there are other men involved. Victoria Gregory and Mark...
dreamindemon.com
#9: "Here’s The Scenario: You’re A 12-Year-Old Girl... I’m Going To Rape You"
by @ghosttruck
"Here’s The Scenario: You’re A 12-Year-Old Girl... I’m Going To Rape You" - The Demon's Den
A naked man allegedly broke into a woman’s California home last week, then assaulted and threatened to rape her, according to a report. Bobby Lee Kinder Jr. was formally charged Tuesday with assault, and rape attempt, per a criminal complaint against him. Around 11 p.m. Friday, Kinder...
dreamindemon.com
#10: Seriously, Who Masturbates For An Hour And A Half?
by @ghosttruck
Seriously, Who Masturbates For An Hour And A Half? - The Demon's Den
A woman's video of a man masturbating in front of her on a train in France has gone viral, in yet another example of the rampant sexual harassment that many women face on public transportation. Natacha Bras, vice-president of MoiAussiAmnesie, a group that provides support to sexual assault...
dreamindemon.com
Taking the top spot is longtime Queen of the Front Page @Jaded, proving that her unerring instinct for clickworthy Real Life Horror has not deserted her. She scored big this week with the story of a Brooklyn man who scored his 169th collar for random public gropery, in true Alphabet City style. Between the mugshot and the numerologically sexual overtones (reliable sources inform us that "169" is 69 with a thumb up your ass), this tale proved to be as irresistible as catnip to the masses that throng the Front Page.
Grabbing the lion's share of the stories this week (5 of them) was omnipresent Maven of Mayhem @Sugar Cookie with rapes, frame rapes, a lost waif and one hell of a Sunday morning surprise. All told, she netted over 4000 Top Ten clicks for the week. This is the third week in a row that @Sugar Cookie has had the most Top Ten articles, which means, historically, that @ghosttruck will sack her next week and keep her from setting a new record: four consecutive weeks. We shall see.
Speaking of @ghosttruck, he came back this week in a return to form, grabbing three of the Top Ten stories with high-endurance masturbation, role-playing rapists and highway-dancing shenanigans, after a week's absence doing whatever it is IT people do when they're actually working. This trifecta netted him over 2000 total Top Ten views, which is 2000 more than he got last week when he was a'nappin'. Next week should see him in top form.
Last but certainly not least was @Turd Fergusen, who always brings something nice to the Top Ten. This week he grabbed the #2 spot with a story about a really nasty, and fatal, domestic incident involving a mother and her daughter's stabby girlfriend that ended in post-mortem face-fucking and a bit of pissing. That one story was good for almost 1000 views, and is an important reminder that if it looks like it might stab you, it probably will.
So congrats to @Jaded, @Sugar Cookie, @ghosttruck and @Turd Fergusen for making the grade on the Big Deal this week, and to everyone who tried out. Keep bringing the Real Life Horror, folks, and keep living the dream! One day you too could be up here with the best of the best! For all of us under the Big Top, this is Old Man Metal saying "seeya next week, cause next week's a whole new ball of shit!" We love ya!