The top ten most-read stories on the Front Page that were posted between last Sunday and yesterday are:
#1: "Didn't Want That Fuckin' Baby Anyway"
by @Sugar Cookie
#2: Florida Woman©, Possibly Crypt-Keeper's Kin, Was "Too Rough With Her Baby"
by @everjaded
#3: Man Who Changed His Name To 'Sexy Vegan' Allegedly Sexually Assaults Dog
by @ghosttruck
#4: Parents Arrested After Children Found In Shitty Living Conditions
by @Sugar Cookie
#5: 24-Year-Old Utah Man Accused Of Sodomizing 11-Year-Old Girl While Tattooing Her
by @Satanica
#6: Florida Man Has Tried To Bake A Baby, Now He's Arrested For Pouring Boiling Water On A Toddler
by @Sugar Cookie
#7: 15 Year-Old Boy Dies Protecting His 5 Year-Old Sister From Home Invader
by @Cheetos74
#8: "Uncle" Juwann Likes Little Girls
by @EyEgOrE
#9: Father Left 2-Month-Old Daughter Face Down In Baby Swing For Mother To Find In The Morning
by @Sugar Cookie
#10: Florida Woman™ Nurse Drop It Like It’s Hot Wanted Her "Tree" Removed
by @Sue sue
This crazy, topsy-turvy world is made up of all sorts of people.
Some of them tell the truth, to a fault, like Tybresha Sexton. This Tennessee teller-of-truths, drunk as a Lord (in vino veritas, amirite?), let everyone know exactly what was up when she told the nosy neighbors who took issue with her game of Drop The Baby "I don't want that fuckin' baby!" Brief, peppery, and to-the-point: that's our Tybresha!
Others lie and misrepresent. Witness Hansel DeBartolo III. He legally changed his name to "Sexy Vegan." The first name is a lie, and a damnable one at that. "Batshit Insane Vegan" would be acceptable, as would "Batshit Dogfucking Vegan," since Hansel likes the Ruff Stuff, but "Sexy" he is not. "Vegan" is also a deceptive last name, since it implies that one treats animals ethically.
Some people are loyal protectors. Khylar Edmond is one of them. When a violent piece of shit named Ryan Clayton Cole broke into his home, Khylar did not hesitate to step up and defend his 5-year-old sister. He injured Cole, running him off, at the cost of his own life. Khylar's sister was not harmed. Neighbors would see to it that Cole did not get away.
Others treat their own flesh and blood like disposable inconveniences. Armas "Fathead" Cravins II is of this latter sort. When he got home from spying on his woman, rather than watching the four kids with whom he was entrusted, he had to piss so bad that he just stuffed the two-month-old into her baby swing and, well, forgot about her. Completely. Good thing Mom came home the next day! Or not. Kind of a moot point by then.
Some people just don't like kids. Like Terry May. He hates kids so much, he tried to roast his daughter in an oven. When that didn't work, he tried braising someone else's kid in boiling water. Chef Boyardee, he ain't. Or Anthony and Emily Hampton, who think so little of their three children that they all live merrily together in an apartment filled with human shit and garbage. They ain't Chef Boyardee, either.
Others, well... they like kids too much. There's "Uncle" Juwann Mitchell, a pedophilic predator who prowls the playgrounds, looking for little girls to molest. And there's Michael Easley. Watch out for him; at first he's all nice and it's free weed and tattoos and fairy dust, but before you know it, he's felt you up and his dirty little pecker is in your mouth. If you're an eleven-year-old girl, that is.
But most of all, people are confused... and that makes them do stupid shit. Like Florida Woman and Crypt-Keeper stand-in Burgandie N. Marquez, who took a dying, seizing child to a gas station rather than, I dunno, anywhere fucking else. I guess she thought he was a quart low. It's not her fault, though... her parents named her Burgandie. There was no hope. There wasn't any hope for Jesusadelaida Lopez, either, between that abortion of a first name and her Florida heritage (seeing a trend?). Jesusadelaida, in jail after a string of fraudulent-businesses-gone-awry, like the Dr. Drop It Like It’s Hot weight-loss clinic, decided to do a little landscaping around the ol' homestead by hiring an undercover cop to prune her family "tree" by removing her husband. It all made sense to her at the time.
Yes, it truly takes a village, and nobody knows that better than you, our Dear Readers. And we see it week in and week out, thanks to the hard work of folks like @ghosttruck and @Sugar Cookie, who scored half the Top Ten stories between them this week. Folks like @Sue sue, who hit for the third week in a row, and @everjaded, @Satanica and @EyEgOrE, who are regular interlopers here under the Big Top. And let's not forget @Cheetos74, who proved that even newcomers can get the Big Deal here at the Demon, if they've got the guts and a keen nose for Real Life Horror.
So join me in congratulating this week's winners, all seven of them! And extra-special kudos to @Sugar Cookie for snagging both Most Top Ten Stories (4) and Most Top Ten Views (2356). This is Old Man Metal, for everyone here under the Big Top, saying "destroy it all, don't leave a trace!" Love ya'!
#1: "Didn't Want That Fuckin' Baby Anyway"
by @Sugar Cookie
#2: Florida Woman©, Possibly Crypt-Keeper's Kin, Was "Too Rough With Her Baby"
by @everjaded
#3: Man Who Changed His Name To 'Sexy Vegan' Allegedly Sexually Assaults Dog
by @ghosttruck
#4: Parents Arrested After Children Found In Shitty Living Conditions
by @Sugar Cookie
#5: 24-Year-Old Utah Man Accused Of Sodomizing 11-Year-Old Girl While Tattooing Her
by @Satanica
#6: Florida Man Has Tried To Bake A Baby, Now He's Arrested For Pouring Boiling Water On A Toddler
by @Sugar Cookie
#7: 15 Year-Old Boy Dies Protecting His 5 Year-Old Sister From Home Invader
by @Cheetos74
#8: "Uncle" Juwann Likes Little Girls
by @EyEgOrE
#9: Father Left 2-Month-Old Daughter Face Down In Baby Swing For Mother To Find In The Morning
by @Sugar Cookie
#10: Florida Woman™ Nurse Drop It Like It’s Hot Wanted Her "Tree" Removed
by @Sue sue
This crazy, topsy-turvy world is made up of all sorts of people.
Some of them tell the truth, to a fault, like Tybresha Sexton. This Tennessee teller-of-truths, drunk as a Lord (in vino veritas, amirite?), let everyone know exactly what was up when she told the nosy neighbors who took issue with her game of Drop The Baby "I don't want that fuckin' baby!" Brief, peppery, and to-the-point: that's our Tybresha!
Others lie and misrepresent. Witness Hansel DeBartolo III. He legally changed his name to "Sexy Vegan." The first name is a lie, and a damnable one at that. "Batshit Insane Vegan" would be acceptable, as would "Batshit Dogfucking Vegan," since Hansel likes the Ruff Stuff, but "Sexy" he is not. "Vegan" is also a deceptive last name, since it implies that one treats animals ethically.
Some people are loyal protectors. Khylar Edmond is one of them. When a violent piece of shit named Ryan Clayton Cole broke into his home, Khylar did not hesitate to step up and defend his 5-year-old sister. He injured Cole, running him off, at the cost of his own life. Khylar's sister was not harmed. Neighbors would see to it that Cole did not get away.
Others treat their own flesh and blood like disposable inconveniences. Armas "Fathead" Cravins II is of this latter sort. When he got home from spying on his woman, rather than watching the four kids with whom he was entrusted, he had to piss so bad that he just stuffed the two-month-old into her baby swing and, well, forgot about her. Completely. Good thing Mom came home the next day! Or not. Kind of a moot point by then.
Some people just don't like kids. Like Terry May. He hates kids so much, he tried to roast his daughter in an oven. When that didn't work, he tried braising someone else's kid in boiling water. Chef Boyardee, he ain't. Or Anthony and Emily Hampton, who think so little of their three children that they all live merrily together in an apartment filled with human shit and garbage. They ain't Chef Boyardee, either.
Others, well... they like kids too much. There's "Uncle" Juwann Mitchell, a pedophilic predator who prowls the playgrounds, looking for little girls to molest. And there's Michael Easley. Watch out for him; at first he's all nice and it's free weed and tattoos and fairy dust, but before you know it, he's felt you up and his dirty little pecker is in your mouth. If you're an eleven-year-old girl, that is.
But most of all, people are confused... and that makes them do stupid shit. Like Florida Woman and Crypt-Keeper stand-in Burgandie N. Marquez, who took a dying, seizing child to a gas station rather than, I dunno, anywhere fucking else. I guess she thought he was a quart low. It's not her fault, though... her parents named her Burgandie. There was no hope. There wasn't any hope for Jesusadelaida Lopez, either, between that abortion of a first name and her Florida heritage (seeing a trend?). Jesusadelaida, in jail after a string of fraudulent-businesses-gone-awry, like the Dr. Drop It Like It’s Hot weight-loss clinic, decided to do a little landscaping around the ol' homestead by hiring an undercover cop to prune her family "tree" by removing her husband. It all made sense to her at the time.
Yes, it truly takes a village, and nobody knows that better than you, our Dear Readers. And we see it week in and week out, thanks to the hard work of folks like @ghosttruck and @Sugar Cookie, who scored half the Top Ten stories between them this week. Folks like @Sue sue, who hit for the third week in a row, and @everjaded, @Satanica and @EyEgOrE, who are regular interlopers here under the Big Top. And let's not forget @Cheetos74, who proved that even newcomers can get the Big Deal here at the Demon, if they've got the guts and a keen nose for Real Life Horror.
So join me in congratulating this week's winners, all seven of them! And extra-special kudos to @Sugar Cookie for snagging both Most Top Ten Stories (4) and Most Top Ten Views (2356). This is Old Man Metal, for everyone here under the Big Top, saying "destroy it all, don't leave a trace!" Love ya'!
