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The most recent Steel Panther effects pedal release proves once again that PC narrow-mindedness and knee-jerk Social Justice Warrior outrage can easily be exploited for tons of free publicity by even obvious trolling.

Steel Panther's first effects pedal, the Pussy Melter, started life as a TonePrint guitar effect patch marketed by TC Electronics and designed by them and Steel Panther's guitarist Satchel. It was described in marketing literature as a "delay tone... as wet as the ladies on the front row."

Given that Steel Panther are the retro-glam equivalent of Spinal Tap (read: a parody band), you'd think that everyone would take this stunt for what it was— an over-the-top, deliberately provocative attention grab— and ignore it.

Not in this day and age.

An offended guitarist named Jessica Fennelly, who plays for a band I've never heard of, took immediate and complete offense at Steel Panther's sexist would-be-80's-hair-band schtick, just like her sort always do, and gave them a bunch of free publicity by crying about her hurty feels on social media.

Note to future offendees: your plaintive, offended cries for retributive Social Justice against the evil, misogynist scum-of-the-earth in Steel Panther are the only reason that anyone even knows who the fuck they are. Seriously.

I won't bother pointing out the fact that the reason that these exploitable stereotypes exist in the first place is because hundreds of thousands of women actually soaked themselves over the real glam gods back in the day, so whose fault is it, really? Your moms', that's whose. Your fore-mothers'. Chew on that nugget.

All that not said, the howls of self-righteous outrage had the predictable effect, and TC Electronics caved, yanking the product and apologizing profusely for daring to offend the legions of the easily-offended. Undaunted, Satchel stated his intention "to re-release the 'pussy melter' tone print under the less offensive, more politically correct name of the 'Butthole Burner,'" adding "don't worry, it will still melt your pussy, ladies." And thus began Act II.



Steel Panther's next move would be a slap in the face to their detractors: they talked It's Electric into releasing the Pussy Melter as a limited edition distortion effects pedal and doubled down on the offensive marketing, noting that the pedal is "made in the USA" and that it "has four knobs and a toggle switch so guitarists of all genders can customize the 'Dirty,' 'Sizzle,' 'Booty,' and 'Load' parameters of the tone to their individual liking." The switch, of course, toggles between the 'Moist' and 'Gushing' modes. Steel Panther also took the opportunity to affirm that they "respect and love the freedom of speech afforded to all citizens in the US."

More loud evidence of offense followed. Sales boomed.



Now the lads in pleather are back for more, releasing their second effects pedal, the Poontang Boomerang. This new pedal is a digital delay pedal that will "keep the sensations repeating for any guitarist male, female, non-binary and/or gender fluid over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over..." per the pedal's marketing. It has a toggle to switch between 'G'Day' and 'Crikey' modes, and pots to control 'Distance', 'Feedback', 'Dry' and 'Wet.'

No doubt this pedal will draw the same reaction as did the Pussy Melter, which has now been banned from popular re-sale site Reverb, and Steel Panther will get more free publicity and will become incrementally richer as a result, allowing them to exploit even more female fans, and at an even higher level of depraved debauchery.

Some things never change.
 

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