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ghosttruck

Level 57 Taco Wizard
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A motorist named Kevin Bacon was on his phone “using an Internet search engine to search for a specific episode of the 90's television sitcom ‘Saved by the Bell’” when he sideswiped a Vermont police car that had stopped to aid the driver of a disabled vehicle, cops report.

According to the Vermont State Police, the 55-year-old Bacon was driving a 2016 Chevrolet Spark when he struck a Thetford Police Department cruiser around 3:45 PM yesterday on Interstate 91.

The driver of the squad car was aiding a motorist in the breakdown lane who had called police for assistance “due to the dangers of passing traffic.”

After striking the police car, Bacon continued driving for a short distance, then stopped his vehicle before “fleeing the scene of the crash.” Bacon was apprehended about a mile from the crash scene.

A subsequent State Police investigation found that Bacon “was looking down at his cell phone at the time of the crash, as well as several minutes beforehand, and never saw the disabled vehicle or the marked police cruiser.” The patrolman and the stranded motorist were not injured when the cop car was sideswiped from the rear by Bacon’s vehicle.

Investigators determined that Bacon was using his phone to surf the Internet for “a specific episode of the 90's television sitcom ‘Saved by the Bell’ while he was driving.” The episode in question was “Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce,” which aired during the NBC’s program’s fifth season. State Police officials did not indicate why that episode was of such interest to Bacon.

According to an IMDB description of the episode, “The gang produce a television show for Communications class, with the sauce Screech makes during the cookery segment proving a hit. They decide to market it, and Screech gains a girlfriend, but he refuses to believe she is using him.” Death to Slater, which bills itself as “NYC’s premiere Saved by the Bell hardcore punk band,” offers a distinctive 1:29 synopsis of the “Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce” episode

 
Investigators determined that Bacon was using his phone to surf the Internet for “a specific episode of the 90's television sitcom ‘Saved by the Bell’ while he was driving.” The episode in question was “Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce,” which aired during the NBC’s program’s fifth season. State Police officials did not indicate why that episode was of such interest to Bacon.

I honestly don't know why I am laughing so fucking hard at that paragraph, but I totally am.
 
Now that's what you call coming to a Screeching halt.

There has to be something nefarious going on here.

I'm not saying that I often find myself driving around jerking off to Saved By The Bell reruns, I'm just saying that I often find myself driving around jerking off to Saved By The Bell reruns.

Thought I was the only one. Small world.

He's really got that defiant "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck The POH-LEASE!" look going on too. You'd think he was Googling the Watts riots when he was pulled over.
 
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Investigators determined that Bacon was using his phone to surf the Internet for “a specific episode of the 90's television sitcom ‘Saved by the Bell’ while he was driving.” The episode in question was “Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce,” which aired during the NBC’s program’s fifth season. State Police officials did not indicate why that episode was of such interest to Bacon.

I honestly don't know why I am laughing so fucking hard at that paragraph, but I totally am.
Same... I can't stop
 
Investigators determined that Bacon was using his phone to surf the Internet for “a specific episode of the 90's television sitcom ‘Saved by the Bell’ while he was driving.” The episode in question was “Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce,” which aired during the NBC’s program’s fifth season. State Police officials did not indicate why that episode was of such interest to Bacon.

I honestly don't know why I am laughing so fucking hard at that paragraph, but I totally am.
Right!! How in the hell did they find out all of this detailed info? The writer seems to be having a good time with it too by actually researching the history and synopsis of the episode.
 
Right!! How in the hell did they find out all of this detailed info? The writer seems to be having a good time with it too by actually researching the history and synopsis of the episode.
I feel like I NEEEED to know why it was so important to him. I almost went searching for that particular episode, but then I remembered I fucking hate that show.
 
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