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Criossville Tennessee police noticed something strange in the wee hours of the morning...

Seems Sally Selby stole a scooter...try saying that drunk...she was booking it down the side of the road at 5am in a Walmart mobility scooter when cops caught up to her. The 45 year old Sally Selby was on her way to the Waffle House for a cup of coffee in what she claimed at first was a scooter she'd built herself. Call them crazy, but the cops didn't buy the "I'm a mobility scooter enthusiast" story and investigated further.

Surveillance video from inside Walmart clearly showed Selby using the scooter inside walmart before the had that all important "fuck it" moment and drove it right out the front door. I'm guessing the door greeter just didn't notice. I imagine she'd had a rough night and thought "fuck this walking stuff...I'mma get that sweet, sweet Waffle House coffee!" It isn't clear yet what charges she'll be arrested for.

THis story is definately brought to you by the letter "S" for Seems Sally Selby stole a scooter...and our very own @Sugar Cookie

 

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