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Satanica

Veteran Member
Bold Member!
From the desk of Sugar Cookie.

The clever bastards have been watching the farmers and know just when to go after the poppies. They swoop in silently having learned not to draw attention by squawking. The pods they leave behind are destroyed, Opium is one of India's most lucrative crops, so the farmers are frantic to get rid of these pirate bird junkies. Since it's a drug there are stringent requirements for growing, and I'll bet tons of bird shit are not among them!

An opium specialist has advised the substance gives the birds a energetic high similar to caffeine, so opium "use" instantly becomes a habit they can't seem to break. Unfortuntely, this specialist had no advice for getting them off of it.


 

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If you didn't already know, most parrots are smart as fuck, I'm not surprised they've figured this out.

Who needs to spend millions on drug control efforts when you can just release a shit load of parrots into the wild to do it for you. Best natural drug control system ever devised.

Waiting for the post crop season when it's in short supply - As crops fade due to either overuse, growing season/harvest, whatever... The parrots will form gangs to control their territories to ensure a steady supply...

Parrot on Parrot violence is inevitable as supplies fade. But they won't stick to just their own species, oh no, once they figure out that humans are the source of the crop they'll figure out how to enslave Indian migrant workers whole cloth to grow it for them. Ever see 'The Birds'??? Just replace 'mindless' violence against humans with 'directed' violence against humans to get them to grow smack.

I for one welcome our new avian overlords...
 

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