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Siobhan

Trusted Member
Late last month in the quaintly named Sandy Township of Pennsylvania, a man appearing to be "highly agitated" tried to kick in the doors of a house who's family were complete strangers to him.
After pounding on the front door with his hands and fists, he managed to kick out the front door window, and began attempting to climb through the broken window and into the home, at which point the homeowners armed themselves with the ever faithful weapons of a frying pan and a claw hammer.
Mitchell Pisarcik told the occupants of the house he was trying to escape from zombies who were chasing him, and snakes that were biting his ankles.

Yeah, zombies and snakes, all that's needed here is a plane and you have...
wait for it...
"Zombies and Snakes on a Plane, Oh My!"!!

After not succeeding with the front door, and hearing a police siren, Pisarcik decided he'd just go around to the back door and try to kick that in as well, all to no avail and much to the occupants relief.

…"Unable to gain entrance to the residence, Pisarcik--wearing a t-shirt and jeans in the bitter cold--eventually laid down in the adjacent roadway, where police took him into custody. He was subsequently charged with criminal trespass, a felony, and several lesser charges, including disorderly conduct and criminal mischief.

Pisacrcik, who is being held in the Clearfield County Prison in lieu of $25,000 bail, today waived a preliminary hearing in District Court.

No zombies or snakes were spotted by law enforcement officers, who concluded that Pisarcik was under the influence of a controlled substance during the bizarre January 21 incident.".

How the police concluded that Pisarcik was under the influence of a controlled substance isn't mentioned, so we must wonder if it was his saucer sized pupils, "highly agitated" state, those damn invisible zombies and snakes following him around like "Harvey" followed Jimmy Stewart, or just a good old fashioned blood toxicology test?

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/pennsylvania/snakes-and-zombies-530921

Thanks to @ghosttruck for the original article!
 
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What I wanna know is were these the old fashioned slow moving zombies, or the more modern ultra rapid, Olympic runner speed zombies he was trying to escape from?
And the snakes, were they poisonous fast moving reptiles like cobras and rattlers, or just the garden variety of garter and corn snakes?
Was there a black mamba involved, and could it have possibly been named Beatrix Kiddo?
These are the important issues, damn it!
I quote the Mrs.', "What an utter douche! Everyone knows you've got to shoot for or chop off the heads with zombies and snakes, he sounds like a total wussy*."

*Not the exact word she used (but similar in sound and meaning;)).
 
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