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MARCH 13--A domestic dispute over pickleball turned violent and resulted in the arrest of a 61-year-old Florida woman for allegedly pummeling her husband in the couple’s residence in The Villages retirement community.

In response to a domestic battery complaint, a police officer arrived at 1:45 AM Monday to the Wildwood home shared by Lan Augustus and her 67-year-old spouse.

Augustus’s husband told the cop that the couple “got into a verbal altercation regarding a pickleball clinic that was being offered in The Villages.” After exchanging words, the man said, Augustus twice struck him in the face with a closed fist. He also alleged that when the argument sparked up again after an hour, Augustus again punched him in the face, shoved him, and struck his foot with a small metal easel.

The victim said that he did not believe he suffered any serious injuries during the confrontation. A patrolman noted observing “slight swelling” on the man’s left cheek, which “was consistent with his account of the events.”

When she was questioned, Augustus said that the couple “got into a verbal altercation...regarding a pickleball membership.” Seen in the above mug shot, Augustus claimed that she only slapped her husband after he chest-bumped her.
 

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Old Man Metal

Trusted Member
Staff member
With a wiffle ball. Someone obviously had some left over badminton rackets and wiffleball after the shuttlecocks ended on the roof and the bats all bent to shit
Yeah, sounds to me like a Moscow Mule deal: "Hey, we've got all this vodka that ain't sellin', and all this ginger beer that no one will drink, what if we put it in those stupid copper cups..." and the shills are lappin' it up.

And hell, the Moscow Mule was just on its second go-round as The Big New Drink... this pickleball shit could come back big in about 30 years.

ETA: Save that aggression for the pickleball court, ya fucks!
 

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