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Old Man Metal

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SANDY RIDGE, PA — A Pennsylvania man was arrested for distribution of narcotics, even though he claimed to have the best interests of others at heart.

Some people are just humanitarians. They care about the people around them, even people that they don't really know, and they will go to great lengths to help them. Sometimes they're even willing to go to jail in the furtherance of the greater good.

Dave Smith is one of those folks.

An undercover informant ratted the 41-year-old man out to the local constabulary on November 13th. Weasel Snitch told The Man that there was "drug activity" at Dave's place in Rush Township, Pennsylvania. The Man lost no time in following up this valuable lead.

Dave was there, man.

"Yep, I sell drugs. In fact, let me step into the kitchen a minute, I've got some crack cooking. The drugs y'all are looking for are in a safe in the basement. Make yourselves at home!"

The righteous man has no qualms or trepidations.

And, as Dave would explain to police, he is a righteous man. He sells good drugs— clean and unadulterated— to protect his fellow humans from the dangerous drugs, cut with who knows what, sold by others. Those drugs are unsafe.

A search of Dave's place would turn up packaged cocaine and meth, drug paraphernalia and ledgers of accounts payable and accounts receivable.

Dave's not just a humanitarian, he's a responsible businessman.

Unfortunately for Dave, no good deed goes unpunished. His altruistic narcotic sales netted him two felony charges for possession with intent to deliver, and two unspecified misdemeanors. Bail was set at $10,000.

In what is perhaps a nod towards Dave's humanitarianism, his bail is unsecured.
 

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Dave isnt the first guy to think of this.

The first time my brother went to prison for cooking meth.
He made an appointment with the narcotics task force to come to his house and look at his process. He was proud that he cut his with vitamins instead of other harmful chemicals.
So of course they came right out and photographed everything and arrested him.
 
Dave isnt the first guy to think of this.

The first time my brother went to prison for cooking meth.
He made an appointment with the narcotics task force to come to his house and look at his process. He was proud that he cut his with vitamins instead of other harmful chemicals.
So of course they came right out and photographed everything and arrested him.
good old Vitablend.
 
Well this changes things! I want selling weed in highschool...I was distributing an organic relaxation compound!
 
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