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Ferdinand Velez Latorre, 37, was arrested March 20 after an investigation by Port St. Lucie police.

One man identified as a victim on March 11 told police that Latorre was drunk and began arguing with a second male victim about a squeegee. He said Latorre cut the second victim’s arm with a razor blade.

Next, he said, Latorre got a machete and chased the second victim. He said the second victim jumped on a pickup truck, and Latorre followed.

“I’ll kill you, I’ll kill everybody!” Latorre is quoted as saying.

A squeegee is a T-shaped tool with a cross piece edged with leather or rubber. Squeegees are designed to facilitate the removal of water from a surface, such as a window, by dragging it across the surface.

Meanwhile, the second victim said Latorre “was upset with him over a squeegee,” records show.

The second victim said Latorre cut his arm with a razor blade after the second victim declined to give Latorre the squeegee. The second victim also said Latorre chased him with a machete.
 

Comments

Old Man Metal

Trusted Member
Staff member
Who the fuck wrote this article? Just when it's getting good, he goes off on a tangential discourse about squeegees. Way to kill the mood, asshole! Do you start doing your fucking taxes in the middle of sex, you hack? And who the fuck doesn't know what a squeegee is anyhow? Jeez...

And enough with the "second victim shit." Call him Bob or something. Or use a fucking thesaurus.

ETA: Promoting this one *solely* because of ghosttruck's ace headline.
 
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Larouge

New Member
Who the fuck wrote this article? Just when it's getting good, he goes off on a tangential discourse about squeegees. Way to kill the mood, asshole! Do you start doing your fucking taxes in the middle of sex, you hack? And who the fuck doesn't know what a squeegee is anyhow? Jeez...

And enough with the "second victim shit." Call him Bob or something. Or use a fucking thesaurus.

ETA: Promoting this one *solely* because of ghosttruck's ace headline.
Lol whoever wrote this is a “T shaped tool”

Lol jk jk
 

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Keepalowprofile

Water is for people that don't have coffee.
Bold Member!
Was it the same person that stopped mid-article to explain what a thong is (including Sisqo lyrics)?
Yes. Yes it was.

I shit you not. Here is a link to the thong story. and here is the link to the squeegee story. And Will Greenlee wrote both of them, or at least his byline is on both of them.

--Al
Good work.
Ok @Alf @EyEgOrE and @Old Man Metal ...which of us is going to be the one to contact Mr Greenlee and inform him of his terrible writing style?
All of you.

We could start a change.org petition to get him to resign. And a go fund me for the poor dude.
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Or, just send him the link to the comments.
:D
 

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ghosttruck

Level 57 Taco Wizard
Staff member
@Keepalowprofile @Old Man Metal @Alf @EyEgOrE

Ok so I emailed Me Greenlee and asked him what was up with that distracting writing style. Also gave him a link to our comments. He replied:


Hi! These are part of “Off the Beat,” which is a blog that highlights some of the stranger, more unusual or humorous crime related incidents in the area. They are written in a generally light hearted style. These entries do not end up in the printed paper.

Sent from my iPhone
 

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I used to love squeegees.... I'd still bring one to a fight... Lol. A long while back when I worked at super tard Mart I was in the deli ... And closing was made awesome .... I'd take the over cooked chicken that someone so rudely dropped along the floor.... And use them as hockey pucks into the never ending giant drain... Lol.... I'd of knocked his teeth out with one of them chickens.... FYI don't eat Walmart chicken
 

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Old Man Metal

Trusted Member
Staff member
These entries do not end up in the printed paper.
Well thank fucking christ for that!

I think he does it as a filler.
I'm sure you're right. I'd come up with better filler. In fact, I do.

Here's how I do a write-up with a story thinner than a whore's hymen:


If you're lurking here, Greenlee, *that's* how it's done.

"It ain't cocky, motherfucker, if you back it up." -Kid Rock

ETA: I sincerely apologize to my fellow Demonites for quoting Kid Rock, but I'm jus' sayin'
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That's it. I have done the same. MANY times. This dude has been around for yeeeears. He writes in the same blog style we used to do on the fp.
If he brought the funnay like you do, I'd not be bitching.
 

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