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ghosttruck

Level 57 Taco Wizard
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ST. LUCIE COUNTY — Next time you’re in the Social Security Office in Port St. Lucie, take note of sweat pants strings “flying in the air.”

James Terrell Williams, 30, was arrested March 5 after accusations he was pleasuring himself "in plain view of a federal employee that was assisting him with a disability claim,” an affidavit states.

The case began when deputies went to the government facility in the 6800 block of South U.S. 1 for a disturbance.

While there, deputies were told about a man later identified as Williams at window No. 4 in a neighboring hallway. He was said to be pleasuring himself near a federal worker helping him with a disability claim.

It is uncommon for people to pleasure themselves near federal workers helping them with disability claims.

A woman identified as the victim said she saw "strings to his sweat pants ‘flying in the air,’” the affidavit states.

The woman stood up and reported getting a clear view of the situation, which according to the affidavit left absolutely, positively, 100 percent nothing at all to the imagination.

 
"It is uncommon for people to pleasure themselves near federal workers helping them with disability claims."

Preface those words with:

True or False?
or
Just to clarify,

------------------------------
Anyone else wanna take a swipe at this one?
 
"It is uncommon for people to pleasure themselves near federal workers helping them with disability claims."

Preface those words with:

True or False?
or
Just to clarify,

------------------------------
Anyone else wanna take a swipe at this one?

Or how about:
Contrary to popular belief,
or
Unlike state offices,
or
Despite the mood lighting and comfortable furniture,
or
Although not unheard of in the parking lot,

I'm here all week, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitresses!
 
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