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Turd Fergusen

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A UK man with a sick obsession for publicly masturbating near horses has been arrested twice within 24 hours for the same lewd offense, a report said.

Malcolm Downes, 61, who has a “long, long history” of pleasuring himself in front of the mammals, was arrested on Feb. 18 after he was spotted touching himself in a field in the city of Hull, England, Metro UK reported.

A witness initially thought that Downes was urinating but it “soon became clear he was in fact masturbating,” prosecutor Neil Coxon said, according to the news outlet.

“This activity went on for three or four minutes. His penis was exposed for about 10 minutes,” Coxon said.

When police grilled Downes about the illicit act, he told detectives: “I was sat on a bench. I was feeling sexy so I started to…”

Downes told cops he knew what he was doing was wrong, according to the news site.

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Man, he needs to be locked up on General Principle just because of that pic.

There used to be a poster on the now-defunct metal-rules forums named for a type of snake (I won't out him). Personable enough guy, normal-seeming. Disappears for awhile, comes back and posts that he'd had some serious medical issue that required surgery and his personal life had been really fucked up ever since because, while doped up and coming out from under the anesthetic, he unknowingly let a particular cat out of the hat in front of his mom. Seems he was a zoophile; his kink was snakes and horses. His folks, who were quite religious, simply could not deal. At all.

It was quite a thread.
 
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