If something should happen to your children, do you have any right to be in your grandchildren’s lives?
One grandmother is sharing her story hoping it isn’t too late for her to make sure her grandson is not lost to foster care.
Darlene Pender’s grandson and his dad used to live with her in New York. Then in November 2016, she says the baby’s mom took him to visit friends in Garden City, Michigan. She never imagined her grandson would never come home.
“I don’t want to cry,” Pender said. “But we love him. We never stopped loving him.”
According to court documents, the child’s 19-year-old mom left her son with a friend in Garden City and returned home to New York. The friend called police and reported him abandoned.
Pender says as soon as she found out she called and asked if she could pick him up. Authorities called back and told her he was immediately placed with foster care.
“Why didn't they call me and tell me he is foster care? Why didn’t they tell me, 'hey something happened, your grandson is here, come pick him up,'” Pender asked.
Pender says her son is in recovery for opioid addiction. She says she is a loving and qualified grandmother. She was working with the New York Office of Children and Family
Services as a licensed social worker when this happened, and says she called authorities in New York and Michigan to ask for a home study, but the caseworkers kept changing.
Despite Pender's best efforts, it took more than a year to get a home study done. “They took their time," she said. "They switched judges. They switched workers. They did so many wrong things here."
“The grandmother raised her hand and said I am out here," Martin said. "I want to take custody of my grandkid in November 2016."
The foster family has grown attached to the little boy they have cared for now for two years, and has hired an attorney to try to get permanent custody.
For now, this grandma is going to continue coming to Michigan every month for every court-granted visit with her grandson. Some have been for a couple of hours, other visits have lasted a few days. She is hoping to one day bring him home.
“I am never going to step out of his life, and I am hoping I never have to not see him for a long period of time,” Pender said.