shames demise
Member
'tis the season. halloween. i have a few experiences i would like to put into writing.
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growing up, i was a rebellious little punk. no, I'm serious. bear with me. i listened to heavy metal, read "the satanic bible", "sex and satanism" and "the necronomicon". i also enjoyed the look on my father's face when he would find such books and rip them in half in a religious fervor. how my parents endured me without employing a baseball bat for disciplinary measures is beyond me. i was increasingly fascinated by dark subjects into my late teens, early 20's. It was around this time that I began meeting people (literally one after the other) who had experience with such things. it was from this (much later realized) that i developed the belief that just like when seeking a relationship with god, he met me halfway, the devil did the same.
i was seeking power and respect. nothing more to say about that except to provide some backstory. i was able to see when someone was touched by such events in their eyes. i had been successful at seeing they had 3 times and once I was wrong.
13 years ago or so, i owned a condominium in Kentucky. something was wrong with that place. something, other than the simpering dolt that is my bad self being there, that is. i had lost a lot of my fascination with such things but it had come back around this time. reading a lot of it. Mostly on the internet. a couple strange things occured. i began waking up in the middle of the night with a profound feeling of being watched. one night, it was so overwhelming, i felt like crying in fear. that had never happened prior. i have been in fear for my life several times and yet it wasn't nearly as frightening as this. the feeling of being watched happened at various times throughout the day but always at home. i fully expected to turn my head and see someone or something staring at me. i had a girlfriend at the time and she would stay the night sometimes. i never spoke to her of this because i was embarrassed about it and thought i had merely been reading too much stephen king. yet, one morning she told me that she felt strongly that someone was watching her. i got a bit spooked as this cast into doubt my rationalizations of these events being an overactive imagination.
i had had a cat pretty much my entire life up to that point, also. i was quite familiar with their behavior. one night, the cat i had at the time was freaking the fuck out. standing in the middle of the room, staring at the ceiling. all hunkered down with big eyes. growling but i could see she was terrified. i tried several times to get the cat to knock it off by yelling at it. i was getting seriously creeped out. i saw nothing where the cat was looking but she most certainly saw it. i rolled up a newspaper (loosely) and hit the cat and she ran into the other room and hid for two days.
the final event was while i was sleeping on the couch. my girlfriend was in the bedroom and i suspect either she or i "wasn't acting right" because of my choice to sleep out there. i woke up in the usual fashion. heart racing with the feeling of being watched but this time was different. i felt...something inside me. it felt ancient and it felt evil. i knew it was also quite wise. Just what I felt. exactly. i was too terrified to move or speak. i tried to call out to my girlfriend but i could barely muster a whisper. never...have I felt like that. i laid there until the morning which was about 2 hours and never told her of this experience.
it all seemed very real at the time and i have never experienced anything like it since then.
_________________________________________________
growing up, i was a rebellious little punk. no, I'm serious. bear with me. i listened to heavy metal, read "the satanic bible", "sex and satanism" and "the necronomicon". i also enjoyed the look on my father's face when he would find such books and rip them in half in a religious fervor. how my parents endured me without employing a baseball bat for disciplinary measures is beyond me. i was increasingly fascinated by dark subjects into my late teens, early 20's. It was around this time that I began meeting people (literally one after the other) who had experience with such things. it was from this (much later realized) that i developed the belief that just like when seeking a relationship with god, he met me halfway, the devil did the same.
i was seeking power and respect. nothing more to say about that except to provide some backstory. i was able to see when someone was touched by such events in their eyes. i had been successful at seeing they had 3 times and once I was wrong.
13 years ago or so, i owned a condominium in Kentucky. something was wrong with that place. something, other than the simpering dolt that is my bad self being there, that is. i had lost a lot of my fascination with such things but it had come back around this time. reading a lot of it. Mostly on the internet. a couple strange things occured. i began waking up in the middle of the night with a profound feeling of being watched. one night, it was so overwhelming, i felt like crying in fear. that had never happened prior. i have been in fear for my life several times and yet it wasn't nearly as frightening as this. the feeling of being watched happened at various times throughout the day but always at home. i fully expected to turn my head and see someone or something staring at me. i had a girlfriend at the time and she would stay the night sometimes. i never spoke to her of this because i was embarrassed about it and thought i had merely been reading too much stephen king. yet, one morning she told me that she felt strongly that someone was watching her. i got a bit spooked as this cast into doubt my rationalizations of these events being an overactive imagination.
i had had a cat pretty much my entire life up to that point, also. i was quite familiar with their behavior. one night, the cat i had at the time was freaking the fuck out. standing in the middle of the room, staring at the ceiling. all hunkered down with big eyes. growling but i could see she was terrified. i tried several times to get the cat to knock it off by yelling at it. i was getting seriously creeped out. i saw nothing where the cat was looking but she most certainly saw it. i rolled up a newspaper (loosely) and hit the cat and she ran into the other room and hid for two days.
the final event was while i was sleeping on the couch. my girlfriend was in the bedroom and i suspect either she or i "wasn't acting right" because of my choice to sleep out there. i woke up in the usual fashion. heart racing with the feeling of being watched but this time was different. i felt...something inside me. it felt ancient and it felt evil. i knew it was also quite wise. Just what I felt. exactly. i was too terrified to move or speak. i tried to call out to my girlfriend but i could barely muster a whisper. never...have I felt like that. i laid there until the morning which was about 2 hours and never told her of this experience.
it all seemed very real at the time and i have never experienced anything like it since then.
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