Guy Shoots Himself In The Balls...Then Things Get Weird

[Craygor]

This kind of reminds me of the machine shop dude that would masturbate against a belt sander when all his co-workers were at lunch. One day he lost his balance and the sander tore one of his testicles out and flinged it across the room. Not wanting to draw attention to what happened, he stapled his torn nut-sack back closed with an industrial stapler, cleaned up the blood and little bits of torn flesh and went back to work, his co-workers none the wiser. That is, until his scrotum became infected and he had to see the doc.

1991 Honorable Mention: Scrotum Self-Repair

1991 Honorable Mention: Scrotum Self-Repair: One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other then to say that he 'needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles.'

darwinawards.com

 

[JackBurton]

Wonder if he forgot about the pot balloons or if he anticipated being arrested and wanted some drugs in the clink

 

[Jaded]

This kind of reminds me of the machine shop dude that would masturbate against a belt sander when all his co-workers were at lunch. One day he lost his balance and the sander tore one of his testicles out and flinged it across the room. Not wanting to draw attention to what happened, he stapled his torn nut-sack back closed with an industrial stapler, cleaned up the blood and little bits of torn flesh and went back to work, his co-workers none the wiser. That is, until his scrotum became infected and he had to see the doc.

1991 Honorable Mention: Scrotum Self-Repair

1991 Honorable Mention: Scrotum Self-Repair: One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other then to say that he 'needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles.'

darwinawards.com

I just pictured this in my head and it was ugly. Especially the flying testicle.

 

[Alf]

I just pictured this in my head and it was ugly.

I all but curled up into the fetal position the first time I read this tale of woe.

--Al

 

[Keepalowprofile]

He's a 13 time felon.
He isn't supposed to be recreating with cannabis.

 

[Old Man Metal]

He's a 13 time felon.
He isn't supposed to be recreating with cannabis.

Shouldn't be recreating at all.

 

[tmdgirl]

Too bad it was only his testicles

 

[Keepalowprofile]

Shouldn't be recreating at all.

That too.
But what I was trying to point out is his terms of parole/probation would not allow him to use cannabis.
It may not prevent it, but it wouldn't be allowed.

Let's hope he hasn't recreated either.

 

[Sevens My Charm]

Wilson is being held on $110,000 bond and due in court on June 18.

To cap it off, Wilson was recorded calling his girlfriend and telling her not to cooperate with investigators, The Post says. The recording reportedly led to charges of tampering with a witness.

Man with drugs in his butt accidentally shoots himself in testicles, deputies say

Prepare to meet a suspect whose story just keeps getting worse and worse.

www.wtsp.com

A week later, Wilson was also charged with four counts of witness tampering after police reportedly listened in on a jailhouse phone call between the alleged perp and girlfriend, where cops say he told her not to cooperate with investigators.

Wilson pleaded not guilty to all charges and is awaiting trial on June 18 on all but the obstruction charge, for which he’ll be tried July 9. Bail was set at $110,000.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.ny...3rzdubhwhqvn44f3sey-story.html?outputType=amp

 

[cubby]

And the hits just keep on coming!

This guy doesn't stand a chance and I'm not even talking about the cops, he needs to be locked up to keep him safe from himself!

 

[likn07]

Message to his girlfriend: No he will never change.... and now the sex will be awful.

 

[McDanel]

I all but curled up into the fetal position the first time I read this tale of woe.

--Al

Me too, and I don't even have testicles.

Post automatically merged: May 26, 2019

He's a 13 time felon.
He isn't supposed to be recreating with cannabis.

13 Felonies, and yet this thing walks among us, What the fuck?

 

[spiff]

I was curious how a dude with 13 felonies at age 26 still walked as well, but apparently the convictions were only for assault and drug possession. Granted, those have to be relatively serious to be considered felonies, but it could have been like.... sneaking pot into a jail or something, beating up someone and stealing their drugs, things that indicate stupidity more than a public threat.

Obviously they didn't make the right choice in releasing this bright young gentleman, but hey at least he only shot himself.