Featured Florida Man Uses Ill-Gotten Gains For Massive Dental Overhaul

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DeBARY, FL — A Florida Man has been arrested after committing a massive financial fraud that netted him new teeth and every kid's birthday wish.

Timothy Powell is dumb as hell, but he has a great smile.

The Florida man was reportedly recruited by a gang of thieves to help them with their dirty work. The first mission they gave him: fix that fucked-up grill.

Powell's new partners in crime felt that less-dodgy dentition would make him "look better for future fraudulent transactions."

I have to say I agree. That shit was just wrong.

So it was "buy an old man's identity on the dark web and off to the dentist you go" for Powell and his mouthful of terrible teeth.

The results of the dental work, while pricey, are stunning: truly a night-and-day difference. The criminal work... not so much.

The old man may have had dementia, but his caretaker didn't. She picked up on the fraud as soon as the man received two unexpected bills for dental work totaling $40,000.

Authorities paid a visit to Powell's dental provider of choice, where he had left fingerprints on the paperwork. Oh, and there was that pesky "before" picture that they took. Between the two, tracking Powell down was a piece of cake.

When they caught up with him, police would determine that Powell's new-found life of crime had granted him two wishes: one, to have a smile that doesn't look like the southbound end of a northbound British dental malpractice lawsuit, and two, a puppy.

Yep, the victim of Powell's financial fraud bought him a French bulldog puppy as well. At just $10,000, it was a bargain compared to the teeth.

Now Powell and his new gnashers are in the pokey, where his 10,000 watt smile will doubtless make him the belle of the ball.

Police are still seeking his alleged criminal overlords.

No word on the puppy.
 

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Muriel Schwenck

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#7
Maybe we need more accessible dental care. 40,000 is insane. You shouldn't have to commit crimes to get employable teeth.
Sounds like he went for a full bore implant job. Dentures are much cheaper. He got greedy.
Also, he could have brushed and flossed more.
I doubt he was worried about employability, he was thinking he'd have better luck getting sex and eating korn nuts again.
 

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JackBurton

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The fuck kind of dog is that?

Wonder how this is handled. How does the victim get his money back? Is the dentist going to have to take a hit or perhaps resort to an insurance claim of being a victim of fraud himself to recoup?
 

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Old Man Metal

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#9
The fuck kind of dog is that?

Wonder how this is handled. How does the victim get his money back? Is the dentist going to have to take a hit or perhaps resort to an insurance claim of being a victim of fraud himself to recoup?
The source article makes it sound like Powell took out loans in the old man's name, so it would be on the company that loaned the money to recover it from Big Teeth somehow. Good luck with that, I'm betting.

It doesn't sound like the victim is actually out any money.
 

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JackBurton

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The source article makes it sound like Powell took out loans in the old man's name, so it would be on the company that loaned the money to recover it from Big Teeth somehow. Good luck with that, I'm betting.

It doesn't sound like the victim is actually out any money.
Good.

I love hearing a bank got fucked over
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