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Old Man Metal

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BROOKSVILE, FL — A Florida man was arrested after shoplifting from a department store where he had just completed a job interview.

Some people hate to waste gas. They will go through the most ridiculous logistical contortions to get everything done in one trip, even if it means going around their ass to get to their elbow.

Or, in the case of Florida Man Domick Breedlove, going to jail.

Breedlove, 24, is one of those responsible young adults that seek out gainful employment. And he loves his mother. And shoes.

The simultaneous pursuit of these three goals would be Breedlove's undoing, the point of intersection being a Kohl's in Brooksville, Florida.

The first errand on the list, "get a job," went okay. Breedlove completed his interview at Kohl's with no apparent snags.

The he went shopping.

Any retailer will tell you that employee theft is a major contributor to inventory loss, or "shrink." Nationwide, retailers spend millions of dollars a year to prevent employee theft, and it all begins with solid hiring practices that weed out potential malefactors.

Breedlove beat them to the punch.

Spotting some Nikes that he liked, Breedlove retrieved an empty Kohl's bag from his vehicle and proceeded to give himself the ol' five-finger-discount. The he saw a couple of pairs of shoes that he thought Mom might like. They went in the magic bag as well.

Of course, this being Florida Man, we all know how it ended.

Breedlove was pinched for retail theft and lodged in the Hernando County Detention Center with bail set at $500.

And he didn't get the job.

Looks like Mom's going to have to let go of some of that canasta money.
 
His hair is so 70 year old lady. Wow.
I recently changed my hairstyle to something severe and short to battle neuralgia. Surpise. it has worked! If my current severe look hadnt worked i was considering even that fellow's silly cut. Id rather look totally dorky than suffer neuralgia. LOL
But he thinks he looks cool. Weird.
 
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I am going to assume that his attempt at shoplifting worked out as well as his attempt to grow a mustache. Just an assumption.
 
Future of America right there folks!
Stupid asswipes, doing stupid things for stupid prizes.
Bet it never occurred to him how idiotic that was
Be afraid.
 
So at 24 that's how Breedlove dresses for a job interview... I'll bet her got the old "we'll be in touch" line.

PS...as if now let's hope Breedlove isn't breeding!
 
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