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Back in March, one of our awesome forum members, ghosttruck, posted an article about a man arrested for impersonating an Uber driver and taking photos of unconscious women in his vehicle. The story has apparently taken an interesting turn, and I just can't help but update it.

Tommy Wayne Beard, 62, first made headlines after an officer noticed a suspicious vehicle near a Northport, Alabama highway. Inside the vehicle, Beard and an unconscious woman in her 20s.

When awakened, the woman reportedly told deputies she didn't know how she ended up in the car with Beard... her last memory was of her leaving a club.

When questioned, Beard first told police he was an Uber driver, and was simply driving the drunken woman home. Later, however, Beard admitted to buying an Uber sign and putting it in his car. He said he pretended to be an Uber driver and admitted he was “picking up people and giving them rides.”

Police eventually found multiple photos on Beard's phone... photos of clothed, unconscious women. Oddly enough, the camera was aimed at the breast and crotch areas of these women. (Police never clarified if Beard picked them up in that condition or if something else occurred once they were in his car).

Now. It was recently made known that when Beard was arrested, he was wearing a "fully erect" artificial penis. Two things came to mind when I read that. One: I pictured it on the outside of his pants and that was hilarious. Two: I like how they stated the artificial peen was "fully erect." That makes me wonder... do they actually sell not fully erect artificial peni?

Also found inside the car, a loaded gun and a bottle of hair conditioner.

As of right now, Beard is facing charges of two counts of kidnapping and impersonating a transportation network company driver. He's being held on $30,000.
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tommy-beard-jpg.19391
 
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Keepalowprofile

Water is for people that don't have coffee.
Bold Member!
What the fuck kind of drugs did he come across?! That’s all kind of crazy! Was he impotent and in the process of working up to rape?
@Jaded said
. Also found inside the car, [•••] a bottle of hair conditioner.
. Two things came to mind when I read that. One: I pictured it on the outside of his pants
Thanks to you two, my mind has him wearing his fake erect peen and jacking off with hair condition as fake lube.
 

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Mrsarcastic

Member
Upon further inspection, the gun and hair conditioner were in fact real.
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What the fuck kind of drugs did he come across?! That’s all kind of crazy! Was he impotent and in the process of working up to rape?
Way to ruin a feel good story. Fucking technology man. Whatever happened to the good ole days when one could always hope that their rapist was a tiny limp dick bastard? Now you can only hope he didn't go for double ex el... and the meth.

I know this joke is going to age horribly. In fact I think it expired ten years ago. I'm only taking responsibility for the rape joke though and not anyone who died reading it. That's on you for being a shitty human being.
 
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Bloodbath

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Well I just bought a fake black girls pussy. I found it so interesting from sex store I bought for myself even though I can’t use it I think it’s soooo funny.... so I believe this story freaks come out at night hahah
 

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Keepalowprofile

Water is for people that don't have coffee.
Bold Member!
Well I just bought a fake black girls pussy. I found it so interesting from sex store I bought for myself even though I can’t use it I think it’s soooo funny.... so I believe this story freaks come out at night hahah
I don't have a problem with that. Own what you want.
But don't print a fake Uber sign and go picking up drunk young guys from bars at 2 am and raping them with that new toy.
 

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Valorous Tone

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@Jaded said




Thanks to you two, my mind has him wearing his fake erect peen and jacking off with hair condition as fake lube.
I think the conditioner was lube, but not for jacking off.
My guess is, impotent, or possibly able to just get off with raping them with the fake peen and in that case the fake peen also protects him from leaving DNA evidence, and the gun was in case they came to while he was in the process.
I agree he seems to have been working up the nerve, but we won't know until they manage to track down some of these women, who may have noticed something the next morning but been unable to recollect and thus unsure of themselves. Or there may even be some reports that can be matched up where the rape kit had no DNA but had hair conditioner present, assuming that is his go-to.
 

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