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Turd Fergusen

Veteran Member
Bold Member!
It’s putting the “bone” in — well, you know.
After falling on his rear end on the street, a 63-year-old man went to the emergency room for knee pain. Doctors, worried that he might have some additional broken bones, conducted a pelvic x-ray.
Instead, they discovered that his penis was turning to bone.
“An extensive, plaque-like calcification along the expected distribution of the penis was evident,” study authors — five of whom work at the Bronx’s Lincoln Medical and Mental Health Center — write in a report of the case, which will be published in Urology Case Reports next month.
The man with the member was not identified in the report, although it mentions that he walked with a cane and had a history of alcoholism.

He told doctors that he had experienced some pain in his pelvic region, but no other symptoms (such as swelling or discharge).
Then he left — against medical advice — before doctors could examine his rare condition further, or formally diagnose him.
“The diagnosis of penile ossification along the entire penile shaft was suspected,” the study says. But “no laboratory investigation, histological examination, or follow-up was done.”
Johnsons turning to bone “is exceedingly rare,” the researchers write: There are fewer than 40 published case reports of the painful-sounding phenomenon.
Even in those rare cases, the hardening typically only affects part of the shaft — but this unlucky patient showed signs of ossification on his entire member, the doctors say.
“Our patient probably presented in the acute phase of his disease due to the presence of a penile pain,” the report reads.

In most cases, penis ossification is linked to a condition called Peyronie’s disease, in which scar tissue develops inside the shaft. This can cause the organ to become inflamed and curve. It makes erections painful and can also lead to erectile dysfunction.
Besides Peyronie’s disease, syphilis, gonorrhea and trauma can also cause bone cells to form in a member.
Treatment depends on the severity of the condition, but can include painkillers, “stretching” or vacuum devices, shockwave therapy or surgery to remove the calcified tissues.

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I can't think of any good puns here because I bet the poor man's new bone, will just be some weird lumpy stuff, and no good boners. Ew, I'm a woman and crossing my legs over this story.

Wait, here's a classic:


Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard
To give her old dog a bone
But when she bent over
Rover came over
And gave her a bone of his own
 
Hey, there are perks. Free coffee and stuff like that. Plus, people are always offering to carry shit for you, etc. I consider myself fortunate to have lived this long and still be getting around and working. Must be all the years of smoking the devil's lettuce!

Younger people often assume that you feel bad as you get old, and that's not the case at all. It just depends on your physical condition and general health going into old age. I feel just fine.
 
It just depends on your physical condition and general health going into old age. I feel just fine.
I'm doomed.

I took my kids to one of those trampoline places 2 weeks ago. I can tell you that those will the the last flips this body ever see's. I woke up the next morning and somehow had gone from being 38 to 80. Perfected the hunched granny hobble 10/10

Next time I will be joining the throng of parents glued to their mobiles
 
Asking for a friend..when does one become elderly?

50

In some cases mid to late 40s, depends on how well someone ages. It's almost unheard of for sometone to be able bodies and youthful enough in physical appearance and health past 50 to not be considered a disgusting elderly scum that should be shielding and hidnig their bodies from all but medical professionals.
 
Sorry to hear about your problem, TinMan. Maybe Dorothy can rub some oils into your joint and solve your problem.
 
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