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ghosttruck

Level 57 Taco Wizard
The Connecticut landscaper facing a voyeurism charge for secretly recording a sexual encounter with a female friend--a tryst that included the application of maple syrup and blueberry jelly--was jailed this week for violating a protective order barring him from contacting the victim.

Robert Somley, 52, is being held in the Bridgeport jail on $150,000 bond after he allegedly sought to intimidate the 48-year-old victim. In addition to a witness tampering charge, Somley was hit with a second felony count for violating a protective order.

Somley was arrested last month in connection with his consensual November 24 romp with a married woman. The incident, detailed in a leading contender for 2018 Police Report of the Year, occurred at a residence in Monroe, a town about 15 miles west of New Haven.

According to investigators, the woman was helping Somley load wood into a trailer outside his residence. The woman told cops that she dated Somley 20 years ago and had recently reconnected with him and was helping him through “this rough time.” Somley, she said, lost his home to foreclosure and was forced to move into a Monroe apartment.

When 15 minutes passed and Somley did not join her loading the trailer, the woman returned to the apartment. There she found Somley “completely naked” and “watching porn on the laptop.” Somley, the woman told cops, explained that he "had to ‘jerk off’ before he started to work.”

Somley, cops noted, “then told her to go outside” and “give him a few minutes.”

After 20 minutes went by and Somley had not appeared outside, the woman again entered the apartment. This time, Somley was “near the entrance naked with maple syrup on his penis.”

But the woman did not bolt from the home upon spotting Somley’s sticky member.

Somley, she said, began touching her breasts, which left her in a “turned on” state. The woman added that she was a “willing participant” in the sexual activity that followed (masturbation, cunnilingus, contact while bent over furniture, etc.). In addition to the maple syrup, cops says, the duo employed blueberry jelly during their encounter.

The sexual activity paused when Somley complained of back pain due to the “awkward position” he was in behind the woman, who was draped over an L-shaped couch. To alleviate his discomfort, Somley “began looking for his Aspercreme,” the woman recalled.

When the woman subsequently agreed to Somley’s request to “blow him,” she noticed that he was recording her with a cell phone. “What the fuck?" the irate woman demanded. Somley reportedly replied that, “it was nothing and that it would be fun later when he plays the video for her.” The woman told police that she “became extremely upset and started to freak out.” She also said that she suspected Somley was “video taping her instead of masturbating” while he was earlier perched behind her for 45 minutes.

When the woman asked Somley to delete the footage he allegedly refused, prompting her to contact police. The victim “even offered $1000 to Somley, which he declined,” cops reported.

Investigators subsequently seized Somley’s phone pursuant to a search warrant. The device, cops say, contained videos of the victim. Somley had been arrested in early-November on a misdemeanor breach of peach charge following a domestic confrontation with the accuser.

Somley was arrested on November 24 for voyeurism with malice, a felony. He was released from jail after posting $50,000 bond, but was rearrested Monday for witness tampering. He is next due in court on December 20. (4 pages)


full


http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/maple-syrup-voyeur-329507
 

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She also said that she suspected Somley was “video taping her instead of masturbating” while he was earlier perched behind her for 45 minutes.

Boy, she's a sharp one, ain't she?

Blueberry is the best jelly, though.
 
. When 15 minutes passed and Somley did not join her loading the trailer, the woman returned to the apartment. There she found Somley “completely naked” and “watching porn on the laptop.” Somley, the woman told cops, explained that he "had to ‘jerk off’ before he started to work.”

What a bastard. All up in the house jerking off while the lady is outside loading wood into a trailer.
 
About a minute after I found him jerking it while I loaded wood, I'd have been gone.
 
Jesus, if this bitch went to Canada it'd be orgies nonstop. Weird with syrup, giddy up.
 
“Complained of back pain & needed his Aspercreme”

Ah the joy of sex in middle age
 
I lost it at aspercreme. :joyful::D

Gotta say she is a dope and somewhat of a sloot.
Would say she has screwed around on her husband...often.
Word to the wise, never video record on the first romp.

Hub should divorce her harlot ass immediately.
 
God.. I recently had a bite of honey maple ham. I didn't realize it was maple flavoured... I regret it even more now.
 
I honestly don't think he should've been arrested. I'm sorry but she called the cops as petty revenge because he recorded her and she was afraid she was going to get caught.
 
I honestly don't think he should've been arrested. I'm sorry but she called the cops as petty revenge because he recorded her and she was afraid she was going to get caught.
I agree...dude should have put the camera away and enjoyed that sweet maple poon :)
 
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