$800 to Catch a Yogurt Thief?

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Wow…don’t mess around with food in the fridge in Taiwan because they will hunt you as down! In the city of Taipei the police conducted $600 worth of DNA tests to figure out who drank a students bottle of yogurt…value $2.

Dorm room life if full of all sorts of inconveniences and sharing a fridge with 5 housemates and missing food was something one student studying at the Chinese Culture University in Taipei was determined to have taken very seriously. The unnamed woman came home and found Goldilocks sleeping in her bed…shit strike that…she found one bottle of her yogurt empty in the garbage! The horror! This angry little Asian called a house meeting and demanded that the guilty party confess. I’m sure, with collective eyes rolled, the four other house mates denied the accusations so this very sane sounding woman took the empty bottle to the nearest police station and demanded an official investigation and bring the criminal to swift and immediate justice.

Now in the good ol’ USA this chick would have been told to piss off and possibly brought up on a charge of wasting police time…not so in Taipei. They are duty bound to solve ANY crime no matter how innocent or retarded. So the case was accepted and the cash started flowing. After spending some serious recourses on this investigation the police called in the roommates for questioning. Of course they all denied any involvement and probably reported on what a miserable bitch this woman was. Since they couldn’t find any finger prints on the bottle they went to their backup, DNA, to figure out who the guilty party was.

TVBS News reported that Taipei police spent a total of NT$18,000 ($585) on forensic investigation kits, fancy CSI centrifuges and some sweet reagents to catch the monster who committed this atrocity. It’s not reported if they ever actually caught the thief but they’ve drummed up a lot of unwanted attention as they throw cash at this crime.

This story went viral in Taiwan and people are collectively loosing their shit. Really why not just buy this whiny bitch a yogurt and carry on. My condolences to her future husband.

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Comments

May 4, 2018
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Tri-Cities
#2
Thank you @ghosttruck for sharing and the following has nothing to do with you.

The petty lil bitch that took her yogurt down to the police station should have to pay for all the bullshit done to find the yogurt thief. And whoever did steal the yogurt should not be charged... simply having to live with the "victim" is punishment enough.
 

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ghosttruck

Level 57 Taco Wizard
Bold Member!
Oct 31, 2018
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#3
Thank you @ghosttruck for sharing and the following has nothing to do with you.

The petty lil bitch that took her yogurt down to the police station should have to pay for all the bullshit done to find the yogurt thief. And whoever did steal the yogurt should not be charged... simply having to live with the "victim" is punishment enough.
I feel the same way!
 

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