The following are 5 reasons why you should not leave your children with your boyfriends.
1. The man he is with you may not be the man he is with your child.
"Anecdotally, providers and people in the child welfare system are certainly aware of the increased risk of mothers' boyfriends [to children], especially those who come late on the scene," clinical psychologist Jennifer Shaw, who works as a partner of the Gil Institute for Trauma and Recovery, tells Vice. "Boyfriends are not necessarily involved in the infancy phase, where a lot of the attachment and bonding with the child takes place."
2. Some men envy the attention that you give your child and may secretly compete with him.
Notes Dr. Kurt Smith, Clinical Director of Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching, “Men in particular are susceptible to feelings of jealousy, especially during the infant and toddler years. Your man, who may have been the picture of a doting father-to-be, now finds himself an outsider and onlooker to a very unique bond. A bond with which he feels he cannot participate or compete.”
3. Some men resent the child because that kid looks like your ex.
4. Some men want to relax at home and a screaming, non-potty-trained toddler is enough to make him snap.
5. Some men don’t love themselves enough to love their own child—let alone yours.
Looking for love, a helpmate, perhaps even a father figure for your child is understandable; especially since there are good men out there, willing and able to love you and your child as if s/he were his own.
But slow down.
Investigate your potential mate thoroughly before you bring him into your child’s life. Avoid the man that emotionally or physically abuses you or your child to proclaim himself as the head of your household.
If you’re dating, cohabitating, or even engaged to someone, do not assign solo babysitting duties until you’ve determined that your partner is patient, mentally stable, cares for your child and will do no harm.
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