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  1. Old Man Metal

    Featured Florida Man Uses Ill-Gotten Gains For Massive Dental Overhaul

    DeBARY, FL — A Florida Man has been arrested after committing a massive financial fraud that netted him new teeth and every kid's birthday wish. Timothy Powell is dumb as hell, but he has a great smile. The Florida man was reportedly recruited by a gang of thieves to help them with their dirty...
  2. Old Man Metal

    Featured Pennsylvania Man Sells Narcotics To Protect Others

    SANDY RIDGE, PA — A Pennsylvania man was arrested for distribution of narcotics, even though he claimed to have the best interests of others at heart. Some people are just humanitarians. They care about the people around them, even people that they don't really know, and they will go to great...
  3. Old Man Metal

    Featured Drunken Dallas Mom: We Are "Going To Die Together"

    DALLAS, TX - A Dallas mother faces a felony charge after offering her pre-teen children alcohol, threatening them, and physically abusing her son. Isadora Ventura is a bourbon connoisseur with husband issues. And she has stabby thoughts. The last of these traits got the 28-year-old Dallas mom...
  4. Old Man Metal

    Featured Florida Man Executes Teen Party-Goers For No Apparent Reason

    OLGA, FL — A Florida Man has been arrested for impersonating a cop and fatally shooting two teenaged boys at a local teen party spot, for no apparent reason. Elwood Timothy Robinson, 46, is like a Good Samaritan, but different. At about 5 AM on Saturday, November 17th, he was out and about—...
  5. Old Man Metal

    TN Police Seeking Ginger In Rape Of 16-Month-Old

    https://www.13newsnow.com/article/news/nation-world/police-search-for-suspect-in-rape-of-16-month-old/615070689
  6. Old Man Metal

    Featured South Carolina Woman Helps Dead Speak, Gets Convicted

    CHARLESTON, SC — A South Carolina woman was convicted of health care fraud in federal court for billing the government for fraudulent speech therapy services. Sometimes the dead speak. Due to the natural process of decay, they often do not do so clearly. They need speech therapy. That's where...
  7. Old Man Metal

    Featured Elderly Child Molester Gets Fatal Minute-Long Beating From Cellmate

    FORT WORTH, TX — An elderly, legally-incompetent child molester was beaten to death in front of staff in a Texas prison. David Faustino Flores doesn't like old people. He really hates child molesters. And he is quite the pugilist. Authorities at the Tarrant County jail made the mistake of...
  8. Old Man Metal

    Featured Arkansas Man Arrested For Whacking It At Walmart

    BIGELOW, AR — An Arkansas man has been arrested for public masturbation for the second time this year after an incident in the jewelry department of a Walmart. Shoppers at the Walmart on Skyline Drive in Bigelow, Arkansas got more than they bargained for on Sunday when Dustin Gene Crocker...
  9. Old Man Metal

    Featured Teacher Accuses Special Needs Student Of Sexual Assault

    BEAVERTON, OR - In a twist on an old theme, a male Oregon teacher has accused a special-needs student of sexual assault. According to a half-million-dollar lawsuit filed on November 1st against the Beaverton School District by a paraeducator (whatever that is), the unnamed school employee, who...
  10. Old Man Metal

    Featured Millennial Moron Dodges Darwin, Cop Gets BB To The Dome

    ANTIOCH, CA — Police officers in California ran across the King of Millennial Idiots recently, and it's a wonder that no one got an eye put out. As of press time, a name had not been released, but what we do know about Sonny Boy is that he is damned lucky to be alive, and he seems to have a...
  11. Old Man Metal

    Featured Mom Of Three: "I Am Going To Go On A Murdering Spree"

    GLEN ULLIN, ND — A North Dakota mother missed out on Halloween after beating up her three-year-old, spewing threats at multiple agencies and assaulting police officers. Trista Reynolds completely lost her shit for Halloween, and boy, did she rack up the charges. According to the Morton County...
  12. Old Man Metal

    Featured North Carolina Magician Indicted For Conjuring Too Near Kids

    GREENSBORO, NC — A North Carolina man has been indicted by a grand jury for being a sex offender on premises frequented by children after he performed as a magician during family night at a pizza restaurant. Authorities call Kevin Daniel Pegram a recidivist. I think they've got him pegged. The...
  13. Old Man Metal

    Featured Thomas Copland Likes It Ruff, Gets Active Sentence

    ELKO, NV – A Nevada man was recently sentenced to prison for physically and sexually abusing someone else's dog while it was briefly in his possession. Thomas Copland is a jack of all trades that likes a little rough stuff with a ruff-ruff on the side, and this proclivity for tormenting pooches...
  14. Old Man Metal

    Featured Michigan Man, Loveless, Lurks In Lots To Peruse Posteriors

    Saginaw, MI — A Michigan man was charged with aggravated stalking after tricking women into getting out of their cars so that he could ogle them. Ladies of Michigan: Kurt M. Fulton likes that ass. And he knows just how to get you to show it. Police in Saginaw, Michigan recently tumbled to his...
  15. Old Man Metal

    Featured Arizona Mom Scores DUI For Halloween Outing

    BUCKEYE, AZ — An Arizona mother was arrested for aggravated DUI after doubling the legal Blood Alcohol Content limit while taking a group of kids trick-or-treating for Halloween. The cool parents are the ones who bother to dress up for Halloween when they take the kids trick-or-treating. It...
  16. Old Man Metal

    Featured Texas Man Wanted Minor for Cannibalism and Necrophilia

    SHELBY COUNTY, TX — A young man from Shelby County, Texas was recently arrested after attempting to obtain an underaged girl with the intent of murdering her and cannibalizing and raping her corpse. People say the damndest things to undercover officers. Just ask 21-year-old Alexander Nathan...
  17. Old Man Metal

    Featured House-breaker Is Really High, Makes Himself At Home

    ARDMORE, AL — A North Alabama woman came home to find a narcotized house-breaker who thought he was at Grandma's house, and was making himself right at home. She knew that something wasn't right immediately: the door was open and all of the lights were on. Upon entering the house, she...
  18. Old Man Metal

    Featured Little Rock Woman Denied Phone, Gets Out Axe

    LITTLE ROCK, AR — A Little Rock woman assaulted a neighbor with an axe, rocks and sticks after he declined to allow her to use his phone. Shelonna Addison likes to use the phone. She does not like being told "no". These two personality traits added up to big trouble for one of her neighbors on...
  19. Old Man Metal

    Featured Florida Man Hides Drugs In Son's Ass, Uses Him As Shield

    WEST PALM BEACH, FL — A Florida man was charged with multiple felonies after he used a child as a drug mule and a makeshift shield in the same incident. Fredrick James isn't much of a role model to the younger kids in the neighborhood. In fact, he is in dutch with authorities after he dragged a...
  20. Morbid

    Man sentenced after admitting to giving 3-year-old boy prostate exam

    LANSING, MI — A judge sentenced a man to 15 to 25 years in prison after he sodomized a toddler during, what he claimed was a prostate exam. The incident happened on July 4th, 2016 as the boy and his mother at her grandmother's house to attend a barbecue and watch fireworks. After watching the...
    • Morbid
    • Thread
    • crime kevin brown-rios michigan pedophile sex offender sexual assault sodomy
    • Replies: 12
    • Forum: Crimes Against Children
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