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Turd Fergusen

Veteran Member
ericdetiege21.webp

MARCH 15--A pantless Florida Man was arrested yesterday after police spotted him pleasuring himself with a pickle while on a private premise, according to an arrest affidavit.

Responding to a suspicious person call around 4 PM, a cop saw Eric Detiege, 47, lying on his back in front of a townhouse in Oldsmar, a city in the Tampa Bay area.

Detiege, unencumbered by pants or underwear, had his penis in one hand and “a large uneaten pickle in his other hand.” Detiege, the cop added, was “using the pickle to penetrate his rectum while he was masturbating.”

Seen above, Detiege was arrested on a misdemeanor exposure of sexual organs charge. He is being held in the Pinellas County jail in lieu of $150 bond.

Detiege, whose address is listed as the Flying Cloud Mobile Home Park in Tampa, has prior convictions for theft, disorderly conduct, resisting police, and criminal mischief. Jail records note that Detiege has “Only God can judge me” tattooed on his arm.

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JULY 15--A Florida Man who found himself in a legal pickle after cops spotted a pickle in him has copped to indecent exposure, according to court records.

Eric Detiege, 47, was arrested in March by cops responding to a suspicious person call in Oldsmar, a Tampa suburb. Officers found a pantless Detiege lying on his back in front of a townhouse that was not his home.

As memorialized in an arrest affidavit, Detiege, naked from the waist down, had his penis in one hand and “a large uneaten pickle in his other hand.” Deputy Armando Feijoo reported that Detiege was “using the pickle to penetrate his rectum while he was masturbating.”

Pictured above, Detiege was arrested for exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor, and booked into the Pinellas County jail. He was released after posting $150 bond, but was back behind bars a week later after getting arrested on a felony theft charge for stealing Red Bull and skinny jeans from a Walmart.

During a late-June court appearance, Detiege pleaded no contest to the exposure charge and was sentenced to the time he had already served in the county jail, 92 days. He was also ordered to pay fines, fees, and court costs totaling $550 (a tab that remains outstanding).

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He was released after posting $150 bond, but was back behind bars a week later after getting arrested on a felony theft charge for stealing Red Bull and skinny jeans from a fucking Walmart, wtf.
(source edited slightly)

This man is kinda a worthless walking turd. with a pickle in his butt. and his dick hanging out.

Maybe he should put in an application to join the Woke Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkeys. Then, if accepted, he would move to London and join the horrorshow that is the whole UK.
 
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Dangle a zucchini in front of him and watch the degenerate swoon.
Dollar Store Mister Freeze.
He has a clear lack of practical knowledge regarding pickles.
 
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