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Turd Fergusen

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A California man convicted of sucking on a sleeping woman’s toes after breaking into her home claimed to be a Zeus-like god sent to Earth to seduce women.

Richard Michael Parkhurst, 29, of Norwalk, was convicted of one felony burglary count, one count of peering into an inhabited building, and two counts of indecent exposure for a wild chain of events that unfolded after he exposed himself to a woman walking her dog in October 2017, according to court papers obtained by The Patch.

“Nice dog,” he told the woman, according to court papers, before exposing himself and saying: “I am walking mine, too.”

Later that same day, he snuck into a sleeping woman’s home — where the woman said she woke up and found the creep sucking on her toes. DNA evidence linked him to this offense, prosecutors said.

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“Nice dog,” he told the woman, according to court papers, before exposing himself and saying: “I am walking mine, too.”

I can't stop laughing! That's one helluva hot dog you're walking there, buddy!
Reminds me of an old joke.

A secretary was sitting at her desk when her boss came back from the bathroom. He stopped in front of her desk to speak with her. As she looked up, she noticed that he had forgotten to zip up his fly. She mentioned it to him and he quickly zipped up and said, "I hope you didn't see my shiny Cadillac." She said, "no, just an old pink Volkswagen with 2 flat tires.
 
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