The Davenport of Depravity,
Oh cool! I always thought it was the Davenport of Doom. Depravity flows off the tongue better.
“The couch has eyes”...
It certainly does, little red eyes that glow in the dark.
I sat on the couch and put my hands between the cushion
And you still have all your fingers? I can stand to lose some butt fat, but FINGERS!, I need to keep the fingers, can't knit without fingers. Man, you're one brave moron.