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Satanica

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http://www.wtae.com/article/report-...ing-while-driving-just-at-stop-signs/22114311
earle-stevens-1531312527.jpg

[....]
According to Treasure Coast Palm, Earle Stevens Jr., 69, is facing a DUI charge.

Indian River County sheriff’s officials were called to a McDonald's drive-thru on June 27 after a woman said a vehicle behind her kept hitting her rear bumper.

Stevens admitted he did not have a valid Florida driver's license and deputies noticed he had an open bottle of liquor in the passenger seat. Deputies say he smelled of alcohol and said he felt "pretty good."

He told deputies that he wasn't drinking while driving, but was instead taking drinks of Jim Beam bourbon while stopped at traffic signals and stop signs.

“He further explained that he was not drinking while the car was moving and only when he stopped for stop signs and traffic signals,” the affidavit states.

Once in custody, breath tests measured Stevens’s blood alcohol content at 0.153 and 0.147 – greater than the 0.08 legal limit.

Stevens said he had two prior DUI charges in Missouri.
 
He thought he had a found loophole in that old .08 drunk rule. Definitely drunk logic.
 
I think he was just being funny because he knew he was fucked. Not like that was his first rodeo.
 
Last edited:
https://wreg.com/2018/07/12/man-arr...nt-drinking-while-driving-just-at-stop-signs/

If you got kids, you're probably very familiar with the sort of reasoning this supposedly 69-year-old man tried using on cops. After driving around getting drunk as a skunk, Earle Stevens was feeling hungry. While waiting in a McDonald's drivethru (cuz if you don't care about your life enough to not drive drunk, you obviously don't care about it enough to not eat garbage), he decided to play a game my brother calls "Can They Feel It?" How do you play this game? It's simple! Just use your car to inch your way up to the bumper of the car in front of you, then tap it. Did they feel it? Will they do anything? It can be a pretty fun game until someone jumps out of their car and kicks your ass, or calls the cops on you, which is what the woman in the car ahead of drunky mcdrunkerson did. But it's ok, he was feeling "pretty good," and after all, the cops couldn't get him for drinking and driving since he only drank at stop signs and traffic lights! A brilliant defense only thwarted by the fact that the charge is "driving under the influence" not "drunk driving." Whoopsie!
 

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