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It's Saint Patrick's day and an armed hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot one brave Irish customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face.

The Robber Shoots the Guy Without Hesitation!

He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him and the robber walks over and calmly shoots him also.

Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.

Did anyone else see my face?' screams the robber.

There is a few moments of silence then one elderly Irish gent, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says, 'I think me wife may have caught a glimpse
 
An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space.

"Lord," he prayed. "I can't stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I'll give up the Guinness and go to mass every Sunday."

Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the Irishman says: "Never mind, I found one!"
 
Did anyone else see my face?' screams the robber.
LMAO! LOL this the part that cracked me up!!! LOL Like anyone else after he shot 2 people for seeing his face was going to step up and say "I DID!" and then the guy says "his wife" 2 funny!!! Great St. Patricks Day Joke! :D
[doublepost=1489777269,1489775181][/doublepost]One thing I am dead set on, unless someone comes along and offers good reason as to otherwise); I think the suspect is not wearing what he "normally" wears in the pic, is why no one can recognize him. And I'm not pointing fingers but the property owner Ron Logan, at least to me, looks somewhat similar to the suspect, not only clothing, but in the face as well. And I can't help but ponder what, oooh forgot who said it! But said that he "looked 65" and was dressed in "old man midwest clothes style"- - just like Mr. Logan here. So I'm thinking the suspect has been on Mr. Logan's property in the distant past, was how suspect knew of this location, and may even be a relative or someone who knows Mr. Logan; son, grandson, nephew, a friend of theirs. The article I read last night said Mr. Logan was out of town the day the girls came up missing (or was it when they discovered them?) and the girls were possibly taken to a house by car before being dumped at that location. Although I doubt this because Mr. Logan himself described the difficulty in manuevering through the "rough" terrain in the back of his property in an interview. The difficulty the killer would have getting the girls to walk through this rough terrain, musless carrying bodies! But I did find it interesting that Mr. Logan was supposedly out of town and they just recently arrested him for (a probabtion violation?) but definitely had to do with having a DUI. Please feel free to correct anything here i may have in error!
 
A little girl is in the bathroom with her daddy, where she tells him that she wishes she had a cock too! Her Dad pats her on the head and tells her not to worry ... she's going to get one as soon as
Mommy leaves for work.
 
What do you call an incestuous nephew?
An aunt-eater.

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A man takes his nine year old daughter to the doctor.
"Hello," the doctor says. "How can I help you?"
The man nods, "It"s my daughter, I was wondering if you could put her on birth control."
"Birth control?" the doctor is incredulous. "She"s too young to be sexually active!"
"Sexually active?" the father says, "She just lies there like her mother!"
 
One day little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents room to check it out.
He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad going at it behind her. Johnny's dad saw him and gave him a little wink as Johnny closed the door.
After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny.He opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and little Johnny going at it behind her.
Dad yelled, 'Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!'
Little Johnny replied, 'It's not so funny when its your mom is it?!'
 
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A man decides to go fishing in the morning and his wife asks if she can go to. He tells her no because he is leaving at 4am and she wont wake up and he is not going to waste an hour trying to wake her. She swears she will get up. He says fine, but if you flake out you have to give me a blowjob or I get you in the ass, she agrees.

4am rolls around and he tries to wake her. She wont get up so he goes to wake up the dog and get it ready to go. He tries to get his wife up once more and she says fuck it, ill give you a blowjob. She starts and stops immediately. She shouts oh my God you taste like shit!........He says, Yea I know, the dog didnt want to go either.
 
@brandi, I'm stealing that one for my really disgusting jokes blog.
[doublepost=1493426931,1493228451][/doublepost]What do you call a cheap circumcision

A rip-off.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

What do you call two men fighting over a slut?

Tug-of-whore.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger?

She just couldn’t take it any longer.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?

A tearjerker.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

What did one broke hooker say to the other?

Can you lend me ten bucks ‘til I’m on my back again?


+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

What do women and noodles have in common?

Both wiggle when you eat them.


+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

What’s the difference between a clitoris and a cell phone?

Nothing! Every cunt’s got one.
[doublepost=1495065328][/doublepost]What is the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.
 
sweet!! here are a couple i actually made up myself!
q: where do hunters shop?
a: Target!!
*pause for laughter
q: what did the pirate say on wheel of fortune?
a: "i'd like to buy an i plz!"
:hilarious::dead:
 
What kind of flesh do zombie priests eat?
Nun.

What do you call 4 lepers in a hot tub?
Porridge.

How do you circumsize Alabama males?
Kick their sisters in the chin.

How do you seperate the men from the boys in Idaho?
With a crowbar.

Why should you never marry a Kentucky virgin?
If she isn't good enough for her own family, she is not good enough for yours.
 
You know what I like about twentynine year olds?
There's twenty of them.

--------------------------------------------

I like my women like I like my whiskey, twelve years old and locked in the cellar.


I am taking the jitney to Hell for laughing at these.

Can I save anyone a seat?
 
Alabama definition of Awesome

When you fuck your little sister and find out she's even better than dad said she was.
 
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