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Morbid

Rooster Illusion
Staff member
Miami Beach, FL
— This perturbed looking individual is 46-year-old Jonathan Crenshaw; a homeless, armless street artist.

He’s been accused of stabbing a tourist with a pair of scissors.

The alleged stabbing apparently occurred after the victim, 22-year-old Cesar Coronado, asked Crenshaw for directions.

“I’m not from here, and this is not what I came for. I came for a vacation,” Coronado told NBC 6 Wednesday. “I just said, ‘do you know where this is?’ but as soon as I talked, the only thing he reacted was — he just cut me.”

Crenshaw, however, claimed it was done in self-defense. He told police he was just lying down when Coronado approached him and punched him in the head.

Soooo he grabbed a pair of scissors out of a suitcase with his foot and stabbed Coronado in the arm, twice, before tucking the scissors into his waistband and walking away.

Coronado denies punching Crenshaw. “Why would I go and attack someone else? No, no, I wouldn’t do that,” he said. “It’s like, how the hell did I get stabbed? Like, is it the right guy at that point? Because I can’t believe with his legs someone could do that.”

I have to agree with that last sentence. For about 30 minutes after I read the article, I tried to function without arms. And, well, my kitchen is covered in hot coffee and I somehow pulled a butt muscle.

Crenshaw has been charged with aggravated battery and is being held on a $7,500 bond.

For those who care to peek into Crenshaw’s interesting history, this link here will take you to a piece from the Miami Times, where they interviewed him about his past, his present, and his art.

TL;DR — His mother fed him rat poison for insurance purposes, apparently. He’s been stabbed to death… twice. He fathered his first child at the age of 8. And speaking of children, Crenshaw claims Gloria Estefan has squished out 200 of his babies.

I would totally buy the dude a beer.

This article was written by Jaded for The Dreamin Demon - the Internet's self-appointed buzzkill.


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His mother fed him rat poison for insurance purposes, apparently. He’s been stabbed to death… twice. He fathered his first child at the age of 8. And speaking of children, Crenshaw claims Gloria Estefan has squished out 200 of his babies.

Oh. he's definitely a character. For sure.
 
Very enterprising, stabbing with his foot. Way to adapt and not let your disability control your life.
 
His head / facial proportions are unusual. Very large cranium and very low ears.
 
. TL;DR — His mother fed him rat poison for insurance purposes, apparently. He’s been stabbed to death… twice. He fathered his first child at the age of 8. And speaking of children, Crenshaw claims Gloria Estefan has squished out 200 of his babies.
This dude should be in a mental hospital.
 
There are people missing various appendages who paint with their toes and teeth. Then sell greeting cards through the VA, etc.
I remember a fellow in my home town who sold his toe paintings on Saturday mornings to capture the farmers market tourists. Weird, dark stuff. Great color work. I gladly paid $3 a card. Put them in my album of oddball ephemera.
The reader at this point is thinking WTF is your point Muriel?
That it's too bad this lunatic couldn't channel his darkness to something interesting and harmless.

PS: THe mugshot reminds me of a kid I went to school with whose nickname was Turtle. Same odd creepy ear placement. Poor guy ain't right.
 
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