It may be out of ones control as to the type of person they are attracted to. However whether someone chooses to act on that attraction and hook up with say, a violent ex con or even currently incarcerated piece of shit, is 100% entirely on that person.
False.
The actual act of "going for" said type of individual is 100% their willing, deliberate choice.
I didn't mean to suggest that it was some automatic compulsion. But, my point could have been better phrased. They don't wake up thinking, "I'm going to go get me a bad boy." A woman might be conscious of the fact that she keeps winding up with bad boys, and she may even understand why. But the "allure" is hardly default, like Craygor suggested.
Unfortunately, anecdotes is what we have to go on, since for every study that says "girls what a bad boy" another says "girls want a nice guy". I'm just lucky I'm a violent nice guy.
Oh yeah? How many studies have you read on the subject? I've long suspected the stereotype to be bullshit, but curious, I've done a lot of research. And the scientific community has resoundingly debunked the myth that women go for bad boys. In fact, there are three very specific circumstances under which the true bad boy has an edge:
1.) If he's a narcissist, he cares more about his appearance than most men. He does well in initial interaction, but does not
commonly make it to the relationship phase.
2.) Our
hormones betray us when ovulating. Science has still overwhelmingly proven we'd rather settle with the nice guy.
3.) She's damaged. Maybe her
dad was a douchebag. Maybe she was assaulted growing up. Maybe she's
unusually stressed out by interaction with males, and makes bad decisions.
But that's it. If we are healthy, we are settling with a nice guy. The narcissist doesn't make it far, and the only (potentially) long-term decision we make while ovulating is who we have unprotected sex with. But even then, we probably wind up with the nice guy who doesn't care if we had a kid with someone else.
Your turn! And, please, mind your sources. Not all sources are created equal.
How do you know that? How can it be proven? Of course, since it can't be proven, it's as good a general theory as anything.
"Genetic predisposition combined with environmental factors" is a reasonable conjecture for most things. Hell, it even explains my hair.
Answered your own question, there, my dear. Well, kinda. Yes, it's reasonable conjecture for most things, including your hair, because it drives all human behavior, AND your hair.
But it's not conjecture. In fact, there is a
significant and ever-growing body of research that tells us free will is but an illusion. Where's Swivel when I need him?
The totality of your genetic predisposition and subsequent experience leaves you with woefully few choices. I mean, technically, you've got myriad choices, but these factors mean you were only ever going to choose one of the things, MAYBE two. But, often circumstance comes along and, as though it was blowing out birthday candles... ::: Poof ::: It extinguishes any remnant of honest to god choice you might have had.
Which brings me to my last point. I don't care one bit for the derision women who have been abused are shoveling at the victim in this case. I have never been hit by a man. I've never even been cussed at by a man. Not even had a lover raise his voice in my direction. But do I sit here, judging and making fun of those who have? Will I allow myself to believe for even a second that this makes me better than them, or more deserving of righteousness? NOPE. That shit's gross as fuck, so knock it off, ladies.
We all know by now that the
reasons people stay in abusive relationships are varied and complex. Dogging on a chick because she wasn't as wise as you is a bad look.